Thanksgiving Hangover Picks

So, Lance gets a new job. Jerry breaks down the Tennessee rumors. That seems to me like a much higher profile position than I expected him to get. I was thinking more like a lower-tier Pac-10 job. Anyway, good luck with that, buddy. If you thought working with Al was weird, at least he doesn't have a Body Farm in Alameda. At least that we know of. By the way, Mary Roach wrote an excellent book called Stiff that gives the Body Farm its own chapter.

You know what? I'm feeling optimistic this week. I don't know if this has less to do with the Raiders thumping Denver last week or the fact the Chefs are really, really bad. But I think we win one this week, and match last year's win total a week earlier in the season. Raiders 34, Chiefs 17.

As my father in-law informed this evening at dinner, the Buffalo Bills have the biggest offensive line in the National Football League. "You know John, I got into an argument with that goddamned nephew of Adeline's, old Ron, when he tried to tell me Dallas had the biggest line in the league. I said, 'Bullshit, Ron. Buffalo's line averages 332." You know what, I looked that shit up, and he's right. 332.2, to be exact. Anyway, the 9ers pass rush is not that great. So Buffalo wins, 28-13.

The Packers got their asses whupped in New Orleans last Monday night. This week, at home against Carolina, I think they win. 24-19.

So, for the last game, I'm picking Denver to continue their suckage against the Jets this weekend. 48-14.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

John's Picks.

Waiting for Dan and his brother Mikey to show up and start pre-gaming for tomorrow...

I'm going with the Raiders in this game. For some reason, I think Brett is due to throw 3 or 4 INTs tomorrow. The Chaz Schillens era debuts with him getting 6 catches for 122 and a Touchdown. 22-13 Raiders. Hell, if stuff like this can happen (and yes, it may well be apocryphal), anything can happen.

The 49ers are playing the Giants, who just got worked by Cleveland, and are probably pretty pissed, and are going to take it out on the hapless 49ers. Oh, and JTO is a back-up quarterback. For a franchise that redefined quarterback excellence, it's just not acceptable that a guy whose name sounds like a schlocky Canadian 1970s rock band is calling signals on Bill Walsh Field.

The Colts look to be back, so maybe the Packers should worry. But since Sllaacs took Indy, I'm going with GB. 27-24.

Bufalo vs. San Diego is an interesting one. I like the disChargers, for some reason. 27-21.

Sllaacs' Mom Provoked My CyberStalker; Picks.

I'm still pretty sure that the guy trying to get his flame war on me is my brother, who didn't know who Lance Kiffin was. Although, when I read it out loud to him, he laughed and said he didn't write it but wished he had. Still, he's the only one who so lovingly calls me "DickFace."

I feel like I need to mention Bill Simmons today, because he brings up the NFL.com "Every Day is Like Sunday" commercials. Which I wrote about almost a month ago. Wow, I beat one of my heroes to the punch, which means absolutely nothing. It's also relevant because he has the Bye week beating the Raiders (though not by as much as it's beating the Rams), has some funny-ish reader emails about which Hollywood monster Al Davis most resembled at the press conference, and says that we Raiders fans get a Stomach Punch because Tom Cables record as Head Coach at the University of Idaho was 11-35. Anyway, that's more games in the span of 3 years than we've one the last three, so it's an improvement, right?

As for Sllaacs saying that Cable should keep to Lance's plan, does that include the weekly "Tell The Truth Mondays," or what Al Davis referred to as Flat Out Lying? Because that would be awesome.

On to the picks:

Niners vs. Patriots. I really, really hope that Patrick Willis catches Randy Moss coming over the middle. Oh, right, Randy doesn't go over the middle. Oh well. The 49ers win. 17-14.

Packers vs. Falcons. Is Aaron Rodgers even playing? Still feeling good about trading the Indestructable Brett Favre now? Rodgers is the man of Glass. Falcons, and Bubba Malaysia's All Star Running back Michael Turner run the shit out of the Packers, 29-13. Seems like Turner busts out ever two weeks, so he's due.

Bufalo goes to 4-0 with a 27-14 Win over AZ. Is Matt Leinert still on that team?

By the way CLOAK OF IMMORTALITY would like to thank Al Davis, Lane Kiffin, the NFL, Tim Kawakami, John Herrera, and Morrissey for the month of September, which I just noticed was our most prolific month since our inception, with a total of 116 posts.

AP: Kiffin Split Second Late on Shanahaning Bills.

They also refer to us as the "hard-luck and dysfunctional."

Anyway, is Kiffin gone or not?

I'll be watching NFL Network to see what Schefter hears.

What About Those Timeouts?

Dan's favorite broadcaster and Chester McGlockton (wearing Craig Sager's tie) were discussing why Kiffin didn't use one of the 2 timeouts he had before that last field goal.

And it's a good question, although not necessarily for the reasons they were talking about.

I thought at the very least he could have tried to pull a Shanahan.

Maybe Lance really has given up.

Heartbreaker.

So we lost, 24-23 on a last-second field goal.

I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that we played so well for so long that I started to believe, or that we lost in such a familiar fashion, not being able to hold a lead.

I was so fired up that all through the fourth quarter, my brother, who claims to be a Raiders fan but doesn't know who Lance Kiffin is, was the object of my irritation because of his negative, hateristic attitude. He kept saying, "The wheels are coming off," and "Why can't we stop them?" and "It's over."

And he was right. Normally I'd say this was a moral victory, since the Bills were favored by 9 and playing at home and with all the controversy surrounding the team they had every reason to come in and get blown out.

DeAngelo Hall was continually victimized in the 4th quarter on underneath routes. Wilson's ejection didn't help, because it looked we were forced to play nickel the rest of the game.

But Johnny Lee's touchdown catch-and-run hook-up with JaMarcus was a thing of beauty, even including the taunting penalty he got that was nullified by an unnecessary roughness penalty.

So is Kiffin fired now? Who knows. I don't even care at this point. At one point when the Raiders were playing well and wining, they showed Al in his box and he looked like Terri Schiavo. So, whatever.

But for 2 hours and 59 minutes, I was enjoying the hell out this football game.

15-7, End of 3

DeAngelo picked off Edwards at the 12. McFadden to the 1 inch line, and then JaMarcus dove in for the TD. I don't know if this team has rallied around Kiffin, or if Rob Ryan feels cut loose to bring the Buddy Ryan pressure, but it's working.

So Far.

Halftime: 9-7 Raiders

We've forced two turnovers, with the Nmamdi forcing a fumble right before the half. The Bills got a touchdown after JaMarcus fumbled. He is tending to lock onto a receiver and go there no matter what. But still, other than the fumble, he's not playing terrible.

The defense is dominating, though. They're bringing pressure, forcing fumbles. It's pretty awesome to watch. This looks like a decent football team.

Answer to Dan's Question #3.

Troupe is inactive. The only thing he's blocking is someone's view.

Rex Sets Us Back; John's Picks

Picked up an SF Weekly to read while I was having lunch today, and turned to the cover story about two homeless junkies who go to SF State. "Oh, this seems interesting," I said to myself and then opened to page 11 where there was a full page picture of Rex getting ready to cook up, holding his cell phone between his teeth. On his cell phone is a sticker: A Raiders shield.I'm starting to understand how the Cavemen feel every time they see a GEICO ad. First tigers, now junkies. I'm getting sick of how the media portrays us.Anyway, on to this weeks picks, courtesy of Sllaacs Brand HaterAde:I like the Cowboys as well. Just as an aside, punk ass DeSean Jackson cost me a bunch of fantasy points by throwing the ball away before he crossed the plane of the goal line the other night. Not because I have him, but because I have Donovan McNabb. Instead of a touchdown pass, McNabb handed the ball to Westbrook who got a rushing TD. Knock that shit off, DeSean. Cowboys win a close one, 31-28.I agree with Sllaacs that Detroit sucks balls, too. 49ers win 13-12, all defensive touchdowns and field goals.Ah, the Raiders. Who knows at this point. Bufalo is alledgedly pretty good, and our top two running backs are injured. So we lose, again, 36-14. Only Kiffin isn't fired; instead the Raiders pass out Nancy Gay's Monday column dissing Kiffin's playcalling to the media before Norv Turner's conference call.

P.S.: Mike Lombardi is on the BS Report today. They get into the Raiders situation about the 21 or 22 minute mark. Interesting tidbit: he blames the Tampa Blowout in Super Bowl XXXVII in part on only having 1 week between the championship round and the Super Bowl instead of the usual two. He also jokes that they would hope Al's players would get hurt so they could get them out of there and play the guys they wanted because it made them better. He also says Lance had no chance, because A.) he was a college CO-offensive coordinator with no NFL experience and B.) the Raiders are the weirdest organization in sports, and have been weird since Barrett went missing in TJ.

Sllaacs Picks - Week 3 - Aaron Rodgers Arm, John Kitna's Head, JaMarcus Russells' Arm and Head

So I took the arm of John Kitna over the arm of Aaron Rodgers.  Looked OK up until the fourth quarter.  So with info from that game last week filed away in the old Brain Box, I submit my picks: 

Dallas @ Green Bay.  I think the popular pick would be to take the Packers at home in this game, but I will take Dallas for the simple fact that they are the better team, and have the best receiver in the NFL - Terrell Owens.  30-17, Cowboys win.

Raiders @ Buffalo.  The Bills are 2-0 against bad teams (Seattle and Jacksonville), but their defense looked good in both games.  Despite the victory over the horrible Chiefs last week, and the wonderful distraction that is RAIDER MANAGEMENT, Oakland will get blown out in N.Y. to the tune of 28-12, Bills win. I think we can look for more Alex Smith-like numbers from J. Russell in this game, and more blame on the receivers.  

Let's just watch when, how and where JaMarcus delivers the ball on each pass attempt and ask ourselves how many Hall of Famers Brett Favre has thrown to over his career.  Here is a short list* of some of Favre's most notable receivers:

TD's

Antonio Freeman 57

Sterling Sharpe  41 

Donald Driver  36

Robert Brooks   32

Bubba Franks  29

JAVON WALKER   19

Mark Chmura   16

Dorsey Levens   16

Greg Jennings 14

William Henderson 13

Keith Jackson   11

Edgar Bennett  10

Don Beebe 4

Mark Clayton 3

Andre Rison   1

 

*the above is an Arbitrary Listing, for complete stats, CLICK HERE.

In the end, it's all about the Quarterback.  David Carr has a career 59.7 completion pct. and led the NFL in 2006, before being relegated to the bench last year in Carolina - largely due to mobility "problems", read; shitty Offensive Lines.  Who was he throwing to when he was with the Texans?  Exactly.

Detroit @ San Francisco.  Here is one game the Niners SHOULD win, (Might be a long while before you read that type of statement regarding SF in this blog again).  The Lions gave up 34 points to the woeful Dirty Birds, then gave up 48 to the Pack, ( That latter game being blown out of proportion a bit since Kitna went nuts with the throwing of the picks).  Point is, Offensively or Defensively the Lions have a 50-year history of giving up points to opponents at a rate that stunts the hell out the teams' annual efforts for success.  Right now in Detroit, you already got receivers bitching about Martz being fired and the Lions running too much.  

No matter how often we bitch about the current state of our teams in the Bay Area, at least we're not living in Michigan.  In short; the Lions sucked, suck and will suck some more.  

Niners win, 35-17.

P.S. Heard a rumor on KNBR 680 AM (SF):  Kiffin won't be fired until the Raiders lose one.  So, this Monday, 6am Eastern Time?

Sllaacs