Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Too Many Coincidences

Last week, I was talking with my buddy Chris from the Daily Chuppler about introducing the term Roy'd into the lexicon, meaning "to be bitten in the head by a big ass tiger."

I had been complaining that the dude who got killed by Tatiana the tiger on Christmas Day was named Sousa. Insensitive, maybe, but the Sousas in my immediate family did not exactly have a banner 2007. What with Pops going insane and getting committed twice, mom divorcing him, my brother living in Los Angeles being a degenerate gambler and pap smear salesman, and me having to watch my childhood die a rapid death at the hands of unscrupulous bargain hunters at the divorce-mandated estate sale, it was only fitting that a Sousa would get mauled by a giant Siberian tiger to close out the year. But still, bro, it sets us back. Just saying.

Even worse, Sousa was a huge Raiders fan:

...young Sousa loved the Oakland Raiders and had been wearing a Marcus Allen Raiders jersey when he was killed.

The altar was decorated with flower arrangements, including one with a Raiders logo.

None of the articles, however, will say whether the alleged taunting included the brandishing of raspberries.

P.S. The Professor points to the similarities between the alleged taunting scenario and Portuguese Bullfighting. The Professor is even more Portagee than me, so she's allowed.

1 comment:

Sllaacs said...

Dude, I didn't know your old shit got sold from your childhood home at 10 cents on the dollar; I would have totally come over and bought something for myself.

Typical Raiders fan, the dead kid; messing with the beast and getting slashed. Figuratively, the 'beast' would be 'expectation of a winning season'.