Thursday, January 17, 2008

Championship Weekend: Sllaacs' Picks

It's been an awesome week for email. I have a very special message from the Professor that I'll be sharing later--with my picks--regarding the ongoing potty training of our daughter. For now, here is what Sllaacs sent me this morning via passenger pigeon:

You know, I kinda like Eli now. I mean, I've always hated the Giants, but that was when they were good, you know; L.T. (The Original) Leonard Marshall, Jeff Hostettler, Phil Sims, Otis fucking Anderson and Mark fuckin Bavarro - to name a few. And what was the flaming kicker's name? Matt Barr? I hated those assholes. I don't have the same hatred for today's N.Y. Football Giants because the Niners have sucked too much to have their playoff or Superbowl hopes dashed by N.Y.
And as for Greenbay? C'mon - It's Favre - the guy Niner fans still don't hate - despite having plenty of cause. Everyone pulls for Brett, right? Not me, not this time. I got a New York State of Mind. Giants win 31 - 28.

Oh, Chargers - Oh, Norv. We fans on both sides of the Bay can live vicariously through the success of the Chargers head coach. Think about the absolute insanity that took place when S.D. lost Rivers and L.T. (Jr.) and still beat the Peyton Mannings last week - it could happen again! I mean, and upset victory - those assholes better play the entire game against the Patsys... I think. Billy Volek... I want the Patriots to lose - in my heart, because in my blackened, hardened heart I am upset that Moss thinks 23 TD catches in 16 games is better than 22 T.D. catches in 12 games. You are not Jerry - Randi - You just ain't. You're Sterling Sharpe, without the broken spine - that is all. And as for Brady - yeah, great Q.B. but save the Montana and Young references for an East Coast fan. Hell, Brady hasn't proven he's better than Peyton Manning, for that matter. He is awsome though. I'm going with the Chargers, and the great Norv Turner to upset the Patsy's 38 - 35.

A 10-year-old kid was taking pie-anna lessons when he damn-near got killed from across the street by an asshole trying to bust caps into a gas station attendant. The missed connection between the gas station attendant and the robber's bulllets reminded me of Alex Smith or Trent Dilfer trying to hit Darrell Jackson with a football on a post pattern and instead smacking a cheerleader in the head on the other side of the field. They should give some of the money they've been stealing to help pay for the kid's recovery.

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