Thanksgiving Hangover Picks

So, Lance gets a new job. Jerry breaks down the Tennessee rumors. That seems to me like a much higher profile position than I expected him to get. I was thinking more like a lower-tier Pac-10 job. Anyway, good luck with that, buddy. If you thought working with Al was weird, at least he doesn't have a Body Farm in Alameda. At least that we know of. By the way, Mary Roach wrote an excellent book called Stiff that gives the Body Farm its own chapter.

You know what? I'm feeling optimistic this week. I don't know if this has less to do with the Raiders thumping Denver last week or the fact the Chefs are really, really bad. But I think we win one this week, and match last year's win total a week earlier in the season. Raiders 34, Chiefs 17.

As my father in-law informed this evening at dinner, the Buffalo Bills have the biggest offensive line in the National Football League. "You know John, I got into an argument with that goddamned nephew of Adeline's, old Ron, when he tried to tell me Dallas had the biggest line in the league. I said, 'Bullshit, Ron. Buffalo's line averages 332." You know what, I looked that shit up, and he's right. 332.2, to be exact. Anyway, the 9ers pass rush is not that great. So Buffalo wins, 28-13.

The Packers got their asses whupped in New Orleans last Monday night. This week, at home against Carolina, I think they win. 24-19.

So, for the last game, I'm picking Denver to continue their suckage against the Jets this weekend. 48-14.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

1st Quarter: Could Be Worse

Watching the Raiders intermittently on the RedZone Channel is funny. They cut away from the end of the exciting GB/Minn game to show Johnnie Lee Higgins fumble the opening kickoff. It took a surprisingly 1:36 seconds or so for the Panthers to score.

They next showed us Nmamdi's interception. We were then told that Walter threw it right back to the Panthers.

The next highlight they showed was of Tommy Kelly getting a face mask penalty. What was funny was Andrew Siciliano's narration. "We were told this week, after DeAngelo Hall was let go, that maybe Tommy Kelly would be next. Well, he's still here. And he's turning heads. For 15 yards, in fact."

Anyway. 7-0. Whatever.

John's Picks

I'm going with the Cowboys tonight. I would like to see a New England/Green Bay matchup in the SuperBowl, though, if only to see Charles Woodson matched up against Randy Moss in a battle of formerly disgruntled Raiders. Remember the game in 2003 when Wood shut him down? That was a serious matchup. But Charles might not play tonight against TO, which is a huge advantage to Romo.



I should also mention that the Professor is a huge Romosexual.

I'm feeling pretty postive about our local teams' chances this week. Carolina Sucks. GreenBalls is like 64 years old. Dilfer has a nice goatee. Niners win, 20-13. Unless someone smack-talks Steve Smith.

As I said before, I will be in the House (somebody REALLY needs to get Britney Spears out of the Flash Player rotation) this Sunday for the first time since 2004. Interestingly enough, that game was also against the Broncos. We got smoked.

Not this time. We're building momentum after the huge win in KC. Raiders 24, Donkeys 20.

I also predict that I will drink a lot of beers in the parking lot Sunday Morning.

Week 13 picks: Sllaacs Introduces "integretous" into the Lexicon

So, with the Cowboys playing the Packers tomorrow night, I emailed Sllaacs this morning and suggested we use that game as the third this week. He replied:

Good call. I'm going to go with the 'Boys, 35-24 - even though a) I hate them, 2) they are suckas III) blow me, I hate them. And in conclusion, they are a bunch of assholes. Straight up, you won't find a less integretous group of guys this side of OJ's golfing buddies who rolled on him. Did I mention that I am a Niners fan? You gotta love Favre though. Maybe he can pull one out.

Niners at Carolina. Hard to pick - I mean Carolina sucks, and if the Niners are who they were against the Cardinals, then the Niners should win. Still, I pick the Panthers 23-14.

I got a new term; it's called getting Dilfer-ed. To be Dilfer-ed is to think you knew who you thought they were only to find out that they weren't. The Cardinals thought they knew who the Niners were. They got Dilfer-ed.

On that note, did the Raiders Dilfer the Chiefs last week? Well, they Dilfer-ed the streak, that's for sure. I'm going with Denver in this one, just because they own the Raiders, and seem to find a way to break this teams spirit at least once a year. 24-23 - Sea Bass misses a big one.

It was nice to see last week that the Bay Area does have Professional Football. And let Monday be a lesson; we could all be Dolphin fans. Could you imagine? I mean, rooting for guys who dress like that? C'mon.

There's a lot to talk about this week, and I want to keep them in separate posts...