Niners inspire, Raiders already tired, Sousa wallows in the mire...

Got to say, the Niners made me proud vs. the Cardinals. The Defense was stout, and even with Gore running into walls all day the offense managed to get it done. Granted, Kurt Warner looked more like Time Warner, but he was still tossing to Fitz and Boldin. That final defensive play by Justin Smith is a nice endcap for a game that was won by the Niner D.

Both Bay Area teams played strong games last Sunday, but unlike the Raiders, the Niners are searching for no silver linings. Yes, Oakland played a good game on both sides of the ball at times and consistently on defense, but besides the smashmouth, you didn't have much "O" (the 57-Yard bomb on 4th and 15? Nice.), except for another bad game for Mr.#1 Overall.

All to the Right, Picks:

New York Giants @ Dallas Cowboys

Eli will own. Hopefully, he'll drop a bomb or two to Marques Colston... Dallas should get... Something... But I don't know what. Giants over 'Boys 31-17.


New Orleans Saints @ Philadelphia Eagles

This would be more interesting if Vick were eligible to play - but Drew Brees is tossing the ball 40 times on a bad day - makes for interesting football. Also interesting: Let's see if Reggie Bush can begin to live up to his draft status.

Seattle Seahawks @ San Francisco Forty-Niners

The Seahawks rolled the Rams, no big deal - they also rolled out thier version of the latest gimmick - the Wildcat. So what? Until further review, the Seahawks still suck. Niners win at home, 21-10.


Oakland Raiders @ Kansas City Chiefs

I see that the Raiders are favorites over K.C. this week - I disagree. K.C. will mop the Raiders like the sticky floor of a S.F. strip club and then send them back to Oakland wondering where their money went. K.C. over Oakland 17-13.


P to the S;

Sousa has apparently gone all "Branch Rickey" and "Jerry Jones" in the case of Yahoo Fantasy League Football, apparently becoming inebriated and shouting down the following trade:

Marques Colston & Frank Gore for Randy Moss & Brian Westbrook


In his liquor (or liqueur) - filled tirade he blasted the trade as unfair (the person getting Gore -me - ripping off the person getting Moss). Come now - that's a fair trade, even in China, in fact my love of all things Frank Gore may result in myself coming up short in this deal when all is said and done.

As it was, his argument was ignored on Yahoo, and met underwhelmed non-support on FaceBook.

Sllaacs Ballers!!!

Sousa - get off that dum dum juice or you will reap the whirlwind... reap it... and then you'll sit there and wonder bout the size of that chicken...

Sllaacs

The Raiders are owed an Apology

Sorry for the silence. Dan's been holding down the fort while I've been trying to do some "real" writing. I'm listening to the game right now, planning to watch the first quarter or so on the tape-delay at 10:00. JaMarcus, McFadden, and Schillens sound great coming out of Greg Papa's voice. Michael Huff even has an interception, although he just got called for PI in the endzone.

I was all set to write a post about the irrational exuberance I feel every year during training camp. But the news of Michael Vick signing with the Eagles is more interesting, so I'm going to ramble about that for a minute. I beg your indulgence.

Ever since he got out of prison, we've been subjected to an onslaught of articles written with the assumption that it was only a matter of time before Michael Vick was flown to Oakland by Al Davis and given the keys to the city, along with a $200 gift card to Pet Food Express. These assumptions were lazy and ridiculous, and usually went something like this:

The Raiders are Gangsters,

and

Al Davis is a maverick who loves speed,

and

Michael Vick is a criminal (gangster) and fast (Al loves him).

therefore,

Michael Vick will join the black hole.

I've gotten into arguments with friends about this. I've written profanity-laced emails to ignorant writers who made these ignorant articles. I'm not holding my breath for an apology.

I just wonder if he'll room with Andy Reid's boys in the halfway house.

John's Picks: Happy Anniversary.

As you may or may not know, December 7 is day that will live in infamy. Not because of that, but because that's the day, six years ago, that the Professor made an honest man of me.

So we're having a relaxing day as well. I realize I'm a little late with my picks, since two of the games have started already. As I type, the Giants just had a field goal blocked and trail Philly 3-0 in the 2nd quarter. Whatever, they will pull this out, 17-9.

The Packers should win. At home, in the snow. 21-17.

And if the Raiders beat the Jets in Overtime, the 49ers should almost certainly be able to win this game. But I've given up pretending to know anything about the BARFF this year. Jets win 28-17.

Don't Call it a Comeback: John's Picks

Now that my colon is no longer a semi-colon, I'm coming back to rock the picks. We haven't tallied up a score in a while, and I think dobolina is off being a new dad or something, so it will just be me vs. Dan vs. Sllaacs. We'll get a new score after this weekend.

Okay, party people.

So. The Tom Cable Era begins. Yes, the press conferences may be bland. I don't give a good Gosh Darn It, as long as the product on the field isn't dull. Or shit, go ahead and be dull, just win a goddam football game, okay? I think the Saints are a better team, and should win the game at home in the dome. But it's also a homecoming of sorts for JaMarcus, who dominated in his last appearance there, in 2007 Sugar Bowl. So, the Aints win, 27-24.

Rush Limbaugh's favorite quarterback also happens to be my fantasy QB. I didn't pick him out of a "social concern," in fact the auto-draft did it for me. I was quite happy with him for the first three weeks of the season. Now, he promises to bring it. And since Chris Dennebaum--the biggest Philly Phanatic I know--is getting married this Sunday, I think the Iggles join the rest of the Philly sports renaissance going on right now. JTO may throw for 300 and 3 TDs, but so does Donovan. 35-28 Eagles.

Seattle sucks. I mean, they really, really suck. They Art Shell Suck. They suck so bad, Walt Coleman's mother called up Paul Allen and asked if she could audit some team meetings and improve her deep throat technique. I mean, they're not as bad as the Lions or the Rams, but they still suck. Green Bay 37-6.

In a rematch of last year's AFC Championship game, I think the Patriots will beat the Chargers. They're not that great. They almost lost to us. The Chargers don't look like they can score points to me. So there. 18-14 San Diego.

Week 2 Picks: Sllaacs Didn't get the Memo

The fourth game is supposed to whoever is playing the Packers, in honor of occasional poster dobolina.

So let's do five games:

If you've been reading me at all this week, you know I'm picking the Chiefs. 31-10.

The 49ers will lose, but it will be close. Seattle sucks, and I like 49ers D. Maybe if Mike Nolan gets fired, Al can pull a reverse-Norv and hire him to be his defensive coordinator. But probably not, because he doesn't hire good defensive coaches, because he coaches the D himself. 13-10.

Pittsburgh vs. Cleveland: I like the Steelers. 31-17.

Dallas vs. Philly on Monday night. Now, here's a football game. Donovan is my fantasy quarterback; I lucked into him when I forgot to login to the live draft and my computer drafted him for me. He then lit up the Rams for 363 and 3 TDs. The Cowboys are not the Lambs, obviously. But I'm going with Dallas, breaking in a new Stadium. I wonder if Jerry Jones got a new 12-person hot tub shaped like Texas Stadium.

Packers vs. Detroit. The Lions suck. Along with the Rams, they're the only other team ranked lower than the Raiders on ESPN.com's Week 2 Power rankings. Packers, 27-7.