Manning to Colston - TOUCHDOWN!!

So yeah, in my Fantasy League I have Eli Manning as my QB and Marques Colston as my #1 receiver, so in fantasy terms aren't I technically correct in pretending that Eli tosses those fantasy passes to Colston in the weekly matchup? No...? Well, it's my first year.

So the picks:

San Franciso @ Minnesota
The Vikings got the run stopping Williams Wall, and the Niners will pound it, pound it, pound it. Have to go with the Vikes at home though, with Brett Favre the Game Manager continuing to victimize the 49ers, as he has done over most of his career. Vikings 23-13 over the Niners.

Denver @ Oakland
Pretty easy here: Denver looks decent, Oakland looks lucky to be 1 and 1. JaMarcus looks worse that Alex Smith ever did, whil Denver messed off a franchise QB in Jay Cutler during the offseason, and still got a decent QB in return (Kyle Orton). The Raiders cut a decent QB in Jeff Garcia and have no options other than JaMarcus who is most kindly described these days as "raw". Denver should roll by 2 TD's at least. With that in mind, I choose Oakland to somehow get the victory. There is some attractiveness in that scrappy defense and the young QB who looks horrible for most of a game but can make big throws at the end. Raiders over the Broncos 18-17.

Tennessee @ New York Jets
I like Sanchez. The Jet fans probably love him. Tennessee is bad - NYJ is bad, but at least the Jets have Sanchez. Jets over Titans 28-16.

Miami @ San Diego
Go Wildcat, it's your birthday... Miami is also stuffing the run this year, besides thier Wildcat hi jinks. LaDainian is hobbled and Merriman is hurting, but they will probably be out here for this home loss to the Dolphins. Miami Dolphins over San Diego Padres... er, Chargers, 24-9.

Sllaacs' Ballers are 2-0. Sousa's lame-ass squad is 1-1. What's lame-er, is that our teams don't play each other during the regular fantasy season. You'll have to make the playoffs to get rolled by the Ballers, Sousa - I'd say good luck, though you won't need it with this weeks opponent.

Sllaacs

Niners inspire, Raiders already tired, Sousa wallows in the mire...

Got to say, the Niners made me proud vs. the Cardinals. The Defense was stout, and even with Gore running into walls all day the offense managed to get it done. Granted, Kurt Warner looked more like Time Warner, but he was still tossing to Fitz and Boldin. That final defensive play by Justin Smith is a nice endcap for a game that was won by the Niner D.

Both Bay Area teams played strong games last Sunday, but unlike the Raiders, the Niners are searching for no silver linings. Yes, Oakland played a good game on both sides of the ball at times and consistently on defense, but besides the smashmouth, you didn't have much "O" (the 57-Yard bomb on 4th and 15? Nice.), except for another bad game for Mr.#1 Overall.

All to the Right, Picks:

New York Giants @ Dallas Cowboys

Eli will own. Hopefully, he'll drop a bomb or two to Marques Colston... Dallas should get... Something... But I don't know what. Giants over 'Boys 31-17.


New Orleans Saints @ Philadelphia Eagles

This would be more interesting if Vick were eligible to play - but Drew Brees is tossing the ball 40 times on a bad day - makes for interesting football. Also interesting: Let's see if Reggie Bush can begin to live up to his draft status.

Seattle Seahawks @ San Francisco Forty-Niners

The Seahawks rolled the Rams, no big deal - they also rolled out thier version of the latest gimmick - the Wildcat. So what? Until further review, the Seahawks still suck. Niners win at home, 21-10.


Oakland Raiders @ Kansas City Chiefs

I see that the Raiders are favorites over K.C. this week - I disagree. K.C. will mop the Raiders like the sticky floor of a S.F. strip club and then send them back to Oakland wondering where their money went. K.C. over Oakland 17-13.


P to the S;

Sousa has apparently gone all "Branch Rickey" and "Jerry Jones" in the case of Yahoo Fantasy League Football, apparently becoming inebriated and shouting down the following trade:

Marques Colston & Frank Gore for Randy Moss & Brian Westbrook


In his liquor (or liqueur) - filled tirade he blasted the trade as unfair (the person getting Gore -me - ripping off the person getting Moss). Come now - that's a fair trade, even in China, in fact my love of all things Frank Gore may result in myself coming up short in this deal when all is said and done.

As it was, his argument was ignored on Yahoo, and met underwhelmed non-support on FaceBook.

Sllaacs Ballers!!!

Sousa - get off that dum dum juice or you will reap the whirlwind... reap it... and then you'll sit there and wonder bout the size of that chicken...

Sllaacs

Hating My Way to a Great Prediction

So yeah, Sllaacs here; I picked the Giants to win by 4 - they won by three - and I have proof. I also picked the G-men to win during the regular season and they lost that one. So I am a football picking genius right? No - just a full-fledged Hater. I hate that the Niners suck and Patsy's do not. I hate the G-men once again - why do they get to have a good team and a good Quarterback and Niners don't? Why? Why can't the Niners have a Manning? Whatever.

I guess I should consider that the Niners now have Mike Martz, the offensive-minded genius who got cheated by Bill Belichick in the Super Bowl back in the day, and the ramifications that such a signing may bring forth - both good and bad. Consider it considered. Shay-Heezy in the house? That's what I get to look forward to. So I Hate. And that is sports fandom, I suppose. I mean, it's kind of like having an ugly girlfriend and ignoring that ugliness - or better yet, accepting it and expecting it to change drastically in a realistic amount of time - while being pissed off at all your homies for having hot chicks, who you know won't be hot forever, but they sure look good for the predictable future. A guy could upgrade his girlfriend, but true fans can't upgrade to a better team - that's sacreligious - they can only bitch and moan until their team get's it together and competes again, (or in the case of the New Orleans Saints: For the First Time).

So that's where I think Bay Area fans are now, in terms of the NFL; Watching And Anxiously Waiting, Anticipating And Always Hating; (WAAWAAH). So I will waawaah and sit tight, the Patriots loss making me feel all right.

Now, Hatred aside: we must acknowledge the Patriots season as an utter and complete failure.

How's that? Regular season undefeated; AFC Champions - means something right? Not for New England. They have been there, done that, as far as the key pieces of the team goes, so yeah - they fucking failed to cap off the season, and now who will care about regular season perfection and record setting performances when you lose the Super Bowl? They look even worse off the field when you consider Tom Brady's laughing off the pre-game prediction by Plaxico Burress and NE coach Bill Belichick beligerently bulling his way off the field with 1 nanosecond left on the game clock. Then you got Brady and Randi Moss skipping the Pro Bowl. Would they have skipped the Pro Bowl if they had won? Brady; probably, but Moss would be there in Honolulu beaming his million dollar smile and keeping it real, all the while saying: "I told you so, Raider Fan."

So with these images, and more importantly the image of Eli Manning breaking from the grasp of the defense to fire a pass downfield that was caught by a hand and a helmet, we can now know - or at least pretend to know - what Mercury Morris meant when he said the Patroits would not be welcome in his neighborhood unless they won it all. For the NFL, this will go down as one of the greatest Super Bowl upsets of all time. I say that it at least trumps the Patriots win over St. Louis because there is no evidence that the Giants digitally recorded the Patriots final walkthrough a day before the Super Bowl. This also shows what people know about predicting outcomes between Championship teams - nothing. That is, after all why they play the games. So goodbye, NFL - See you again come August.

I will hardly miss ye.