The Raiders are owed an Apology

Sorry for the silence. Dan's been holding down the fort while I've been trying to do some "real" writing. I'm listening to the game right now, planning to watch the first quarter or so on the tape-delay at 10:00. JaMarcus, McFadden, and Schillens sound great coming out of Greg Papa's voice. Michael Huff even has an interception, although he just got called for PI in the endzone.

I was all set to write a post about the irrational exuberance I feel every year during training camp. But the news of Michael Vick signing with the Eagles is more interesting, so I'm going to ramble about that for a minute. I beg your indulgence.

Ever since he got out of prison, we've been subjected to an onslaught of articles written with the assumption that it was only a matter of time before Michael Vick was flown to Oakland by Al Davis and given the keys to the city, along with a $200 gift card to Pet Food Express. These assumptions were lazy and ridiculous, and usually went something like this:

The Raiders are Gangsters,

and

Al Davis is a maverick who loves speed,

and

Michael Vick is a criminal (gangster) and fast (Al loves him).

therefore,

Michael Vick will join the black hole.

I've gotten into arguments with friends about this. I've written profanity-laced emails to ignorant writers who made these ignorant articles. I'm not holding my breath for an apology.

I just wonder if he'll room with Andy Reid's boys in the halfway house.

Gene Wang is an ignorant asshole

Via Williamson, who to his credit says, "I just don't buy it," comes this piece of ignorance from some guy named Gene Wang, the Washington Post's "Fantasy Guru." In a checklist-style post, he mentions The Renegade/Second Chance factor, the athleticism, pairing Vick and McFadden in the Wildcat, and Oakland's geographical distance from Atlanta (whatever the fuck that means).

But it's the fifth and final item on the checklist that really kills it, and shows that Mr. Wang does not know what the fuck he's talking about:

Raiders fans, especially in The Black Hole, would have no trouble embracing a player with a prison record. Check.

Looks like we're 5 for 5, so Al Davis, what are you waiting for? Pick up the phone, give the man a call and get him on a plane to the Bay Area.

Um, no Gene. It most definitely DOES NOT look like we're five for five. Why don't you visit Oakland and do a little research first, before just assuming that everyone in the Black Hole who dresses up for the games is actually a criminal. The Bay Area in general and Oakland in particular is one of the most animal-friendly areas in the country. Jarrod Cooper is a fan favorite, and his charity, Help Code 597.org has been set up to help keep dogs out of shelters, and out of the hands of people like Michael Vick. It has the endorsement of the Raiders.

In short, it's the ANTI Michael Vick.

God I wish people would stop talking about this so that I could blog about something else.

More Nnamdi on Vick

I attributed this to Jerry Mac's twitter feed, because that's where I saw it first, but I should give props to David White who was on Chronicle Live with Nnamdi last night, which is apparently where the quote comes from.



Also, I'm not sure why the embedded video is cut off. The code they give you to copy is weird and needed to be edited, by me, with my limited skills.

Props to Ratto, I think, for the Bernie Maddoff joke.

Bill Williamson is Lazy; Jerry McDonald is Not (UPDATED)

The headline over at Bronco Bill's blog is "Sound-off: Michael Vick and the Raiders." He's soliciting reader emails, now that Vick's been conditionally reinstated, on whether or not he'd make a good Raider. I'm so tired of this, I don't even know where to begin. But since I had to say something, I submitted this:

Amy Trask would never allow it. You've written elsewhere that the Raiders linked with Vick is knee-jerk "Al Davis Loves Renegades" logic (or something). That fact that you've resorted to this on the day that Raiders training camp opens, and not whether or not Heyward-Bey is signed, or if JaMarcus can hold off Garcia, is just plain lazy.

I know, why doesn't Josh McDaniels bring him in to compete? Or is he happy with the duo of Kyle Orton and Chris Simms? Are Thigpen and Croyle really better than Michael Vick backing up Cassell? You'd be better off going back to transcribing Mike Shanahan press releases.

We'll see if he runs it. My guess is there'll be 20 emails for it, mostly from Denver, Kansas City, and San Diego, saying things like, "Of course the Raiders want Michael Vick. They're gangsters, blah blah blah Al Davis renegade blah blah blah if his 40 time is still blah blah blah wildcat."

It makes me want to puke.

UPDATE: From Jerry Mac's brand new Twitter page:

Nnamdi on Vick: ``Anytime there’s a criminal, or someone’s just gotten out of jail. Everyone says the Raiders are going to take him.”

Or, as our Permanent Man Crush might put it, the stories linking Michael Vick to the Raiders are apocryphal.

Art Shell Bad

I'm afraid we've gotten there. Ever get the feeling that Al fired the wrong coach?

It would just make too much sense for the Raiders to put Mike Vick on the team. At one point my least favorite player in the NFL was Warren Sapp. The Raiders promptly added him to the team. Then Randy Moss was my least favorite. Voila, Moss to the Raiders. Since the Vick drama, and as a person who has twice been on the receiving end of pit bull attacks (Maya absorbed all the pain and the emergency vet visits and surgery), Vick has been my most despised NFL player.

From my perspective, the Raiders are paying for the sins of putting degenerates like Sapp and Moss on the team. They haven't been good since those signings. If Vick joins the team, it might be enough to push me to fan hiatus. I never thought it possible, but that was the visceral reaction to Johnny's post. It isn't like I need this frustration in my life.

Michael Vick

The MediaNews papers are all full of "What if" stories about the possibility of Michael Vick joining the Raiders if and when Roger Goodell reinstates him after he gets out of prison.

I guess these stories were inevitable, with the Falcons in town and so many of Vick's former teammates and coaches now with the Raiders.

I always thought, in the immediate aftermath of Vick's arrest/conviction/sentencing, that people who said, "Well, now Vick's ready to be a Raider" were stupid and lazy. They were falling back on that whole "criminal element" stereotype that's been a part of the Raiders since the 70s (and yes, I'm well aware that there's no small amount of that stereotype that's been cultivated by the Raiders and their fans).

Corkran's article and Monte Poole's column focus mainly on the football possibilities, with some quotes from DeAngelo Hall, Justin Griffith, and Ashley Lelie enthusiastically endorsing bringing Vick to the Raiders. Hall even offers to re-do his contract.

I have to admit that the fantasy backfield scenario, with JaMarcus standing back there looking at McFadden on one side and Vick on the other, is intriguing.

But there's only one way it work if Vick came to the Raiders:

Jarrod Cooper.

If the Raiders put Cooper on the staff (as a special teams assistant, community liason, whatever) and assigned him the main role of mentoring Michael Vick, it could work. Included in that mentoring would have to be taking him to the shelter and helping him clean out cages, patch up rescued dogs, etc. People in the Bay Area love dogs, and his first game at the Coliseum would be guaranteed to see pickets from the SPCA, PETA, and, since this is the Bay Area, probably the ALF.

But Cooper could help smooth all that out, and Vick could show his remorse is sincere.

At Least Somebody's a Winner This Week

My fantasy football team, Bubba Malaysia, destroyed Dan's team (Ain't Skeered) by a score of 120.22-109.56. Yes, my fantasy team takes its name from what happens when you plug "John Sousa" into the Ron Mexico Name Generator. It's my ultimate disguise, in case I ever need treatment for Herpes and don't want the Professor to find out.

Bubba Malaysia, which was 2-23 at the same time the Raiders were, has now won 5 straight games and is the hottest team in the Yale Wives Club league (so named because the founders all had wives who went to Yale), thanks to Adrian Peterson's rookie dominance and switching from Carson Palmer to Ben Roethlisberger 4 games ago.

Now I'm facing the ultimate real team/fantasy team conundrum: do I hope Peterson is too hurt to play next week against the Raiders, because he's their only legitimate offensive threat (apparently that's one more than the Raiders possess), or do I hope he gets better because he is certain to gash the Raiders pourous run defense?

Anybody have any answers?