Knapp is Out

Greg Knapp went to Seattle to join Junior Mora today. Lombardi hears that Cable is the guy for the Raiders. Jerry Mac has an interesting conspiracy theory about why Lombardi mentions Harbaugh for the Detroit, St. Louis, and the Jets jobs, but not for the Raiders. He says it's because Harbaugh's Agent is one of the founders of the National Football Post, so he would know.

And the Browns hired Mangina.

BARFF

Sllaacs and Dan have hit upon an interesting concept without a good acronym: The Bay Area Football Debacle. Dan suggests BAD, which is pretty good, but I miss the F. So here's an idea:

Bay Area Raiders Forty-Niners Football, or BARFF.

Seeing as the football being played on either side of the Bay makes fans of both teams want to Puke, the "debacle" part is implied in the acronym BARFF.

And, you can take BART to BARFF.

Oh, and since Sllaacs was thoughtful enough to give us Nancy Gay on Al emasculating Greg Knapp, he's Kawakami on the 49ers Monday Night Game:

Mike Martz took time out of his usual ignoring of the media on Tuesdays to reveal that he too thought the 49ers’ last play was from the 1/2-yard line. And Martz said he only figured out the 49ers were at the 3 1/2 when Mike Nolan called and told him so this morning.

PROBLEM: Hey Mike Martz and Mike Nolan… the ball actually was at the 2 1/2. Really. Go back and check. You got it wrong TWICE, star off-coor.

Once when it happened and you called the wrong play and then many hours later, after your former coach (favored coach?) called to tell you. Wrongly.

It was NOT at the 3 1/2 or the 1/2 or whatever half-witted thing you thought it was or still think it was or are arguing still that it was. It was at the 2 1/2-yard line. Please memorize that.

This is unbelievable. My head hurts at the 49ers’ incredible ability to not see things clearly, then argue with anybody who did see it clearly, then babble about it later.

Is there nobody up in that booth who can tell the difference between the 1/2-yard line and the 2 1/2?

Does Mike Nolan know what he’s talking about, even when he’s sitting on his couch?

Should he be calling Martz? Should Martz be saying that Nolan is the only guy “smart enough” to watch it on TV replay and call him… with the wrong info?

Geez. Jed York really has this ship cruising.

Don't Call it a Comeback: John's Picks

Now that my colon is no longer a semi-colon, I'm coming back to rock the picks. We haven't tallied up a score in a while, and I think dobolina is off being a new dad or something, so it will just be me vs. Dan vs. Sllaacs. We'll get a new score after this weekend.

Okay, party people.

So. The Tom Cable Era begins. Yes, the press conferences may be bland. I don't give a good Gosh Darn It, as long as the product on the field isn't dull. Or shit, go ahead and be dull, just win a goddam football game, okay? I think the Saints are a better team, and should win the game at home in the dome. But it's also a homecoming of sorts for JaMarcus, who dominated in his last appearance there, in 2007 Sugar Bowl. So, the Aints win, 27-24.

Rush Limbaugh's favorite quarterback also happens to be my fantasy QB. I didn't pick him out of a "social concern," in fact the auto-draft did it for me. I was quite happy with him for the first three weeks of the season. Now, he promises to bring it. And since Chris Dennebaum--the biggest Philly Phanatic I know--is getting married this Sunday, I think the Iggles join the rest of the Philly sports renaissance going on right now. JTO may throw for 300 and 3 TDs, but so does Donovan. 35-28 Eagles.

Seattle sucks. I mean, they really, really suck. They Art Shell Suck. They suck so bad, Walt Coleman's mother called up Paul Allen and asked if she could audit some team meetings and improve her deep throat technique. I mean, they're not as bad as the Lions or the Rams, but they still suck. Green Bay 37-6.

In a rematch of last year's AFC Championship game, I think the Patriots will beat the Chargers. They're not that great. They almost lost to us. The Chargers don't look like they can score points to me. So there. 18-14 San Diego.

Now What?

So last week happened. Lane Kiffin is still texting JaMarcus, and he appreciates it. I wonder if Al will have John Herrera text JaMarcus Lowell Cohn's blog post about Kiffin being a poor judge of the real estate market. He should.

I saw John Clayton on SportsCenter this afternoon. I can't find a link, because I'm exhausted. But he said that we should get to see Jammy unleash that gun a little more, like we saw when he struck downfield to Zach Miller against the Chargers. He said it has to do with Greg Knapp. He called that play while Lance was drawing up 76-yard field goal attempts.

I can't wait to see that. I especially can't wait to see Jason Whitlock choke on the 37 'Lil Debbie Football Brownies he's just jammed in his big, fat, mouth when he sees JaMarcus unleash his first of many 300 yard, 4 TD passing games. What dickhead.

Clayton: Al Interviews Lance's Replacements

Here we go again. Yawn.

What a dump truck organization.

I Know It's Over. It Never Really Began.

All over the internets, people seem to be piling on after Monday night's debacle.

Warren Sapp: "...they have unrealistic ideas about what their people can do.." "They're going to suck."

Adam Treu: "There are a few things I miss about playing professional football, but getting beat 41-14 is not one of them."

Kurt Snibbe: Replace Randolph Scott with Buccaneer Bruce.

And then in his conference call with the Chefs' beat writers yesterday, Kiffin:

"You have to look at the history," Kiffin said. "History is what it is, that he doesn’t keep people very long. We don’t have a general manager. Everything goes through the owner. That sets up a difficult situation at times.

"Knowing who the owner is, you know from day one there’s no job security."

Just fire him. Promote Lofton or Knapp, or whomever. Either way, lock Knapp and Cable up so they can't just leave for Seattle next. Or, shit, I don't care, bring back Art Shell. One of the funnest parts of the game the other night was seeing Dan's Art impersonation, where he made his hat 4 sizes too small and rested it down on his forehead, and scowled.

I wish to revisit my post about NFL.com using Morrissey's "Every Day is Like Sunday" in their commercial. They should make a Raiders-specific ad using a different Morrissey song, something even more depressing, like "I Know it's Over" by the Smiths.

That one even has Spanish subtitles, perfect for Fiesta Latina 2008.