First Round NFL Playoff Picks, by Sllaacs

Interesting that Mike Singletary canned Mike Martz.  Not surprising though.  Singletary has an offensive vision that is much closer to what Mike Nolan was running with Norv Turner as O.C. (Power Running Game) than Martz's aggressive passing attack.  Who is to run the offense now?  Hopefully Singletary.  Hopefully, Mike Singletary will hire a decent O.C., I don't care who, and then make the play calls himself, based on the O.C.'s suggestions, and not just sit back and spectate on the sidelines as Nolan did.  The old "well the Offensive Coordinator made the call, so I went with it", argument has grown stale here at this section of the The Cloak.

Playoff Picks:

Atlanta Falcons @ Arizona Cardinals:

First playoff came since 1998 for the Cardinals, and they get to host it.  They have the 3rd-ranked passing attack and MVP Candidate Kurt Warner (he didn't win it), but in the playoffs, the rushing attack generally becomes paramount to success.  I will go with Matt Ryan and Michael Turner on the road 28-17 over the Cardinals.  How does an Atlanta vs. Miami Super Bowl grab ya? 

Indianapolis Colts @ San Diego Chargers:

A Defense that has allowed the fewest passing touchdowns in a 16-game schedule in NFL history, with a red hot MVP in Peyton Manning , and a 9-game winning streak has this team resembling a Steam Roller.  

Regular season underachievement's  aside, the Chargers have won four in a row and are in the Playoffs, hosting no less.  They have beaten the Colts 2 of the last 3 times they have faced each other.  Phillip Rivers is great, and LaDainian Tomlinson will play.  I pick the Colts on the road, 24-21 over the Chargers.

Baltimore Ravens @ Miami Dolphins:

The Dolphins went from laughing-stocks (1-15) last year to home-field (AFC East Champs) in the Playoffs against the Ravens this year.  Much like the Falcons, there has been such a quick turn-around with Miami that Sllaacs is still not 100% convinced that this season's success will be long term.  Anyhow, I like the consistently strong-to-dominating defenses put forth by the Ravens over the past 5 years over the Newbs from Florida.  Baltimore over the Ravens 17-9.

Philadelphia Eagles @ Minnesota Vikings:

Gus Frerotte or Tavaris Jackson?  Does it matter?  The Vikes have the #1 ranked run defense and the Eagle's Donovan McNabb has had his troubles when forced to throw this season.  Can Philly run the ball on offense enough to keep Minnesota honest and give McNabb a decent chance at moving the chains?  Yes, says Sllaacs.  Philly will do this thing, just like they did that thing last week against the Cowboys.  Eagles over the Vikings 30-16.

P.S.  Oh, the Warriors...  The Warriors...

Sllaacs

Dennis O'Donnell is a Little Bitch

Well, okay. Mike Singletary is announced as the new, permanent head coach of the San Francisco 49ers.

But that doesn't mean you have to cut away from Johnnie Lee Higgins doing the Rerun dance.

Johnnie Lee is saying, "I can't show you too much, cuz I might be on 'Dancing with the Stars Next Week."

But that doesn't mean O'Donnell has to give the "wrap it up" sign to his producers or whatever.

BARFF

Sllaacs and Dan have hit upon an interesting concept without a good acronym: The Bay Area Football Debacle. Dan suggests BAD, which is pretty good, but I miss the F. So here's an idea:

Bay Area Raiders Forty-Niners Football, or BARFF.

Seeing as the football being played on either side of the Bay makes fans of both teams want to Puke, the "debacle" part is implied in the acronym BARFF.

And, you can take BART to BARFF.

Oh, and since Sllaacs was thoughtful enough to give us Nancy Gay on Al emasculating Greg Knapp, he's Kawakami on the 49ers Monday Night Game:

Mike Martz took time out of his usual ignoring of the media on Tuesdays to reveal that he too thought the 49ers’ last play was from the 1/2-yard line. And Martz said he only figured out the 49ers were at the 3 1/2 when Mike Nolan called and told him so this morning.

PROBLEM: Hey Mike Martz and Mike Nolan… the ball actually was at the 2 1/2. Really. Go back and check. You got it wrong TWICE, star off-coor.

Once when it happened and you called the wrong play and then many hours later, after your former coach (favored coach?) called to tell you. Wrongly.

It was NOT at the 3 1/2 or the 1/2 or whatever half-witted thing you thought it was or still think it was or are arguing still that it was. It was at the 2 1/2-yard line. Please memorize that.

This is unbelievable. My head hurts at the 49ers’ incredible ability to not see things clearly, then argue with anybody who did see it clearly, then babble about it later.

Is there nobody up in that booth who can tell the difference between the 1/2-yard line and the 2 1/2?

Does Mike Nolan know what he’s talking about, even when he’s sitting on his couch?

Should he be calling Martz? Should Martz be saying that Nolan is the only guy “smart enough” to watch it on TV replay and call him… with the wrong info?

Geez. Jed York really has this ship cruising.

Forty Niner Sideline Drama

As the Niners melt down against a team that all contributors to this blog agree is terrible, the focus shifted from on-field events to those on the sideline. Vernon Davis, a very high draft pick whose speed-size combination was to revolutionize the tight end position, did something vaguely Raideresque by smacking a Seahawk in the facemask and drawing a completely stupid 15-yard penalty. The Interim then gave him a tongue lashing, VD put on his Randy Moss pout face in response, so Singletary just ejected him. He even made him come back and get his helmet and take it to the locker room himself.

If Norv Turner had ejected Randy Moss, how long do you think it would have taken for Al Davis to get out there and beat Norv with his walker?

Sure, the Niners are somewhat inexplicably getting crushed by the Seahawks, but I've come to believe that discipline is pretty central to success in the NFL, so Singletary may have taken a positive step today.

"We Knew, in that Huddle..." - Dan's Picks

"It was a group destined to apply the kind of pressure that had not been seen before."


Mike Singletary's Forty-Niners are similarly destined to win for him their first time out this week. Seattle is inexplicably bad this year - primarily because I haven't been paying close enough attention to be able to explain why they are so bad. This fall from grace has left the NFC West a wasteland that suddenly finds the Rams in second place. So the battle for third place will go to the temporarily inspired locals, 31-21.


For the Raiders, the question is whether their sometimes inspired play of 2008 was only temporary and is now over...or at least whether it will show up this week. In other words, will we see a performance like the Buffalo trip or the New Orleans trip? Optimistic Dan says Buffalo. Rob Ryan will have Trevor Scott and crew ready to play with his arrogant twin on the other sideline. Sure, the Raiders are a team that's built to run, and the Ravens have the NFL's #1 run defense. And the Raiders' run defense is ranked, as usual, somewhere in the upper 20's (yes, I'm starting Willis McGahee on my fantasy team this week). But I think the Raider D will come to play, and JaMarcus will make a few plays. Raiders 17-10.


The New York Giants will defeat the Pittsburgh Steelers 24-20. Both teams can get after the quarterback, but I think the Giants are just a notch above. Maybe Polamalu will knock a few more dollars out of Plaxico's wallet in his ongoing quest to save professional football from becoming a "pansy game." I am really looking forward to watching this one. Oh that's right...I live in 49er territory.

It's all unwinding in Dallas, an organization almost as fond of drama as the Raiders. So Tampa Bay, which is actually a body of water and not a city although maybe a reference to a metro area but I really don't think so, will go into Dallas and win. Brad Johnson may have won a Super Bowl for Gruden, but Garcia has always been better. And since there's only room for one Roy Williams in Dallas, the score will be relatively high, 28-27.

The 49ers are Boring.

Nolan's fired. Big deal. Wake us up when Dr. York breaks out the overhead projector and spends over an hour calling Nolan a lying liar who lied and lied and lied.

I wonder what Sllaacs thinks about Mike Singletary. I guess he's too busy hating on JaMarcus on my facebook wall.

As for the Raiders and our thrilling, overtime win, well, we're still working on processing that properly. Baby steps, people. There are a lot of pictures to sort through, inebriated notes to decipher, and whatever the hell else we have to do. That's why we're bloggers, because we're not competent enough to be real writers.