Is Bill Williamson a Hater?

No, really, I can't decide.

ESPN.com came out with their first Power Ranking of the season, and the Raiders have dropped a place from their season ending 26 to 27. They basically swapped places with the Rams. My buddy Ken, who both of our readers will remember missed an opportunity for a bedside interview with Javon Walker in a Las Vegas hospital, is a Rams fan. I'm sure he will rub this in my face all week, that his squad is 1 point ahead in the power rankings.

But at least we're ahead of the 49ers, so stick it in your ear, Sllaacs.

Anyway, so Williams writes:

Optimism is sky high in Oakland. It might not be warranted, but the Raiders will be more fun to watch than in recent years.

Now, Dan and I were discussing this recently, how every year we talk ourselves into being excited about the Raiders, either because Randy Moss will really make Norv's offense work, or maybe Art really will bring the greatness back. We will probably write something about that, and share a couple of the now-embarrassing emails that were exchanged.

Anyway, so yes, I'm optimistic. That's true. I don't know that it's quite sky high, but I'm more optimistic than I've generally been. How could I not be? JaMarcus makes me hopeful, as does McFadden.

The "It might not be warrented" qualification, while if Jerry McDonald wrote it, I wouldn't think twice, when written by a former Broncos beat writer it gives me pause.

So consider yourself on notice, Williamson.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Josh McCown's brother Luke almost cut off Josh's index finger.

On his throwing hand.

With a chainsaw.

Parcells must be ecstatic.

Let's hope JaMarcus doesn't list "wood working" or "brush clearing" as hobbies.

John Clayton is Not a Hater

While waiting for frequent commenter dobolina to make is CLOAK debut, I checked out ESPN.com and noticed that John Clayton is not a hater.

He says so, in his new mailbag column. He calls them a surprise team, saying they may even be .500 or better going into December.

His response to the Atlanta Falcons question was pretty funny, too.

Anyway, while we wait with bated breath for dobolina's deconstuction of the Favre debacle, we can watch this:

The Unfolding Favre Tragedy

Fittingly, as I cleaned my home office this weekend I came across my copy of the Oshkosh Northwestern's Brett Favre Retirement Tribute that I had been saving for when I finally wrote my tribute on this blog. While the current fiasco was predictable (how often does a legend exit his sport gracefully?), my delayed blog was more laziness than foresight.

Unfortunately, what is going on now may influence the content of my tribute once I write it. I won't pass judgment - at least not today. And it's not just because Favre has a lifetime pass from me or even because no one really cares that Willie Mays ended his career with the Mets. No, I simply believe this is a pure and simple tragedy sparked by the notorious indecisiveness of our hero.

Who can blame him for getting the itch in July? Who can blame the Packers for having moved on - and not just emotionally, but with a fully rebuilt playbook?

So the Packers are in a fix, and it's getting ugly. Dobolina?

Walt Coleman Sucks Bob Kraft's Leathery Nutsack

And yes, before you even ask, I'm still fucking bitter.

Espn.com asked coaches around the league to vote on the best and worst referees in the league. Mike Carey and Ed Hochuli both got 8 votes for "best" referee (they also got 3 and 4 votes, respectively, for "worst" ref) in the league.

Gerald Austin had the most "worst" votes with 6. Jeff Triplette, who actually blinded a guy with a penalty flag, only got also got 3 "worst" votes. Austin and Triplette are the only refs to receive zero "best" votes.

Walt Coleman, whose mother is a prostitute famous for contracting syphilis (she was even a model for an anti-VD ad in the 1940s) after a strenuous bout of irrumatio with a Canadian stevedore, received 2 votes for "best" referee.

I will bet you $1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 that one of those votes came from Bill Belichick.

According to Mike Sando, who also wrote the survey piece, Coleman has worked games involving every team BUT the Raiders since the he shat the Tuck Rule out of his hopefully now cancer-ridden anus. All 31 teams.

As for the second vote, I remember reading an article a while back that said Jon Gruden told someone that Walt Coleman was his favorite referee. When asked why, he said, "Because Al Davis hates him." I don't know if this is true, and I've been unable to find a link, but I hope it's not true, and I really hope that his vote is not the 2nd vote.

I don't really have any hard feelings toward Chucky, despite the ass-whupping he gave us in the Super Bowl. But if, say, he DID vote for Walt Coleman as the best referee in the game, then he is a traitorous, sell out, Mike Shanahan-esque punk, and I hope his wife screws a Hooters bouncer and then goes home and gives Chucky crabs.

Sllaacs Don't Love You Like He Loved You, Yesterday.

Found out that I have to borrow from Fallout Boy to express my feelings for Boom-Dizzle. He was Timmy Hardaway with four more inches of height, the unquestioned floor leader and the face of the Warriors. Now he is just a wobbly-kneed jerk with dreams that would Ruin the World. A bit dramatic? Perhaps, but I am a Warriors Fan, and this ass left us without a Point Guard. See Ya, Baron - you were awesome, but you are a Clipper now and that is disgusting. Why is Baron Davis playing for the Clippers disgusting? I'm glad you asked, here's why:

L.A. Sucks:
"The Clippers" is the stupidest name for any Professional franchise not named the "Mighty Ducks" or Los Angeles Angels (The Angels Angels as a direct translation"). And since the Ducks are just the Ducks, and the Angels have actually won a few division titles, that leaves the Clippers as the lamest of the stupidest. And by the way, if you call them "the" Los Angeles Dodgers or "the" Los Angeles Clippers, you are actually saying: The the Angels Dodgers, or The the Angels Clippers. See how stupid the entire L.A. thing is? And that is just the sports scene.

He Wants to be a Movie Star:
Baron actually wanted to pursue his Movie career while he plays hoop. Hopefully not at the exact same time. Nice focus though, for a team leader... Not.

He Doesn't Give a Damn About Winning It All:
If Baron wanted to win it all he would have gone to a team with a chance. What team? Hell if I know, you figure it out. I find it acceptable if Baron thought the Warriors were going nowhere, but to go to the Suck Ass Clippers?

In Boom-Dizzles' face however:
Elton Brand signed with the 76ers. Warriors snatched Maggette and made an offer to the Lakers' Rony Turiaf that Kobe probably won't match. Welcome to the Basement, Baron - it's gonna bring you down.

I mentioned Justin Duchsherer in closing a post a little while ago. Need I mention him now?
The A's traded the best pitcher in Baseball yesterday - "when he is healthy" being the only caveat. Dick Harden is the most talented pitcher we've seen in Oakland in the last 20 years (Jose Rijo being the end cap), maybe ever. Tune in to Cubs games when Harden is throwing to check out a future Hall of Famer - or another Chicago fireballer going down to injuries. Knowing Billy Beane's results when it comes to trades though, I expect Richie to go the path of Mark Mulder, unfortunately - with his best years left behind in Oakland, so far - and Mulder had nothing like the injury history of Dick Harden. Beware Hardens last two starts - only five inning each - his injury history is thus: Dominate for a few starts, come out of game early raising no alarm, then announce before the next start that the disabled list is his destination.

In Closing:

With or without Baron Davis, the Warriors are still a team that needs vast improvement from several young players to win during the regular season and contend for the playoffs this year. They probably lost 20 wins with Baron leaving, so Warriors Fans will see if Monta Ellis and Corey Maggette are good enough to make up for the absence of Davis.


Sllaacs

Tony Gonzalez is a Hero; Saves Chargers Fan's Life

Tony Gonzalez, who normally I hate because he plays for the Chiefs, but who I used to really like because he went to Cal, gave some choking dude the Heimlich Maneuver the other night. Saved the guy's life.

Ken Hunter was trying to swallow a piece of meat when it got stuck in his throat. That's a pretty common way to begin a sentence about a Chargers fan, actually, "Trying to swallow." Choking is a pretty common thing for Chargers to be doing, too, especially when Marty Schottenheimer was involved.

Anyway, good for Tony G.