Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Josh McCown's brother Luke almost cut off Josh's index finger.

On his throwing hand.

With a chainsaw.

Parcells must be ecstatic.

Let's hope JaMarcus doesn't list "wood working" or "brush clearing" as hobbies.

Observations

Good to see JaMarcus get some serious playing time to try and get in a rhythm. Only downside is it's giving Manning all sorts of time to hurt the Raiders with all of the 3-and-outs. Thankfully the defense has been terrific.

The pass rush has reappeared, and Gerard Warren is very active. But I'm pretty sure I saw him make a "pay me" gesture after a 1st quarter stop, which might explain why he never hangs on anywhere. Hey - another sack for Clemons! Three sacks on Manning when he'd had 17 all year. I'm impressed.

Part of it must be Asomugha's coverage. Every time I've seen Manning test him deep he's been step-for-step.

McCown's back in to a smattering of boos, but I'll note that his first play is a first down.

Masterpiece

It started when the kept Manning out of the endzone to end the 1st quarter.

Then Josh McCown directed a 20-play, 99-yard touchdown drive that lasted 11:41. It was the most inspiring offensive football I've seen out of this club, not counting when JaMarcus came in against Denver. No matter what happens the rest of this game, that drive has given me faith in Lane Kiffin as a play caller and a coach.

It was magnificent.

10-7 Colts, halftime. Peyton's not really hurting us; the Colts only 6 came on a 90 yard punt return that was a complete debacle by the Raiders special teams.

I'm fired up.

Josh McCown is Funny.

I've written and said some pretty hateful things about Josh McCown. But he played his ass off last week, and just now on the pre-game show he was discussing his injuries with Greg Papa:

"I was telling my little brother yesterday, you know how when there's a forest fire and the firefighters burn ahead to keep the fire from spreading? I'm going to punch myself in throat, to keep the injuries from getting any higher, you know because they started at my toe."

I like our chances today.

New Levels of Suckage: Bears Win 17-6

Awesome 4th Quarter, guys. We made Rex Grossman look like an All-Pro quarterback on the 59-yarder to Berrian.

Great job.

I can't even make any snarky jokes here. The problem is that we are better than last year. Last year we were so horrible that it was kind of funny: every snap to Walter or Brooks was a potential NFL Bloopers highlight. Now we're no longer comically dreadful. We're just bad and, even worse, we're boring. Seriously, name one highlight from the 3rd quarter. You can't. They might as well have not even played it.

Poor McCown. He tries so hard but he's just not that good. He's totally Donald Hollas, Jr. I don't know what the answer is. I just know that we might not win another game, and we could have another Top-5 pick.

I just hope Kiffin is still around to turn JaMarcus loose next year.

1st Quarter: 3-0

McCown seems different this week. He seems more relaxed, more confident. The crowd isn't murdering him, so maybe that helps. That sweet fake hand-off to open the game where he busted off a big run was a good call. And so far Devin Hester hasn't done anything.

Like Dan, I'm optimistic.

Dear Lane Kiffin

I know you've seen all of this tape, because you guys drafted him. You wouldn't have done that if you didn't think he could play. I know you're only 32, and this is your first head coaching job, and that Mr. Davis ultimately decided to draft JaMarcus. But I read somewhere before the draft where you described him as "like the guys in the video games, who can make all the plays." I knew right then that JaMarcus Russell was going to the QB of the Oakland Raiders if you had anything to say about it.

I know it's not your fault that he missed training camp. But he was there for all of the mini-camps, and he's been here now for 8 weeks.

Look at that film again, and look at what you've getting from your quarterbacks the last 4 weeks. If the veterans are going to be turning the ball over and losing games, what good does that do anybody?

Maybe you're worried that what happened to Andrew Walter last year, when he got hit so much he was jealous of David Carr's protection, and lost all of his confidence, will happen to JaMarcus.

JaMarcus Russell is no Andrew Walter. And the line isn't as bad.

If I have one Raiders-related fantasy this week, it's this:

JaMarcus goes into your office and DEMANDS the job. Says he's going to start earning his $31 Million by taking the ball and leading this team. Sure, maybe he takes some lumps and has his share of turnovers.

Seriously, though, Coach. You need him. The fans can take losing with JaMarcus if he's showing promise. What we can't take is seeing poor Josh McCown doing a Donald Hollas impersonation. We can't stand Daunte Culpepper, God Bless him, stand 8 yards behind the center and then throw the ball to the other team.

There's 8 games left.

I'm In.

Are you?

Just Win, Baby.

I've been thinking about this for a while, ever since Gregg Easterbrook wrote his "Good Vs. Evil" column last week. I thought about it even harder watching "Inside the NFL" on HBO the other night, which seemed to devote the entire first half of the show to the upcoming game, even splicing together an NFL Films Mega-Highlight with both the New England/Washington and Indianapolis/Carolina tilts, complete with a panel discussion about whether or not the Patriots are running up the score and an interview with former Chargers/current Patriots Rodney Harrison and Junior Seau.

I'm going to take these in reverse order, starting with Junior and Rodney. Actually, I really only want to talk about Rodney Harrison, since I've always respected Junior and I feel bad for him that his house burned down last week.

The thing about the Patriots that has bugged the shit out of me--other than the Tuck Rule, which we'll get to later--during their run of success this decade is the sense that they're so good, and so well-coached by Belichick and well-led by Tom Brady that they can bring in any malcontent or headcase and not just rehabilitate them but turn them into team leaders. We saw it with Corey Dillon, we're seeing it now with Randy Moss.

But the one that galls me the most is Rodney Harrison. I'm not saying he's not a good player. And I'm not even saying that the sinner-to-saint narrative I've just described is not valid, because in a way, it is. But even after his HGH suspension (and what it is it with players with connections to the Chargers and performance-enhancing drugs?), he's still considered an elder statesman. The Rodney Harrison I remember with San Diego was the dirtiest player in the league. Just ask Tim Brown, who was the victim of attempted murder every time he went over the middle for a pass. Now because he's on the Patriots and he's won a Super Bowl he's a hero?

The thing about this sinner-to-saint narrative is that it's not sinner-to-saint at all; it's sinner-to-sinner-who-wins-a-lot-football-games. Randy Moss isn't all of a sudden a team leader. He'll never be a leader--he sure as hell wasn't when he was in here in Oakland. But surround him by ballers, and he's all-world.

As for running up the score, that's just ridiculous. Everybody asked on Inside the NFL agreed that it wasn't; I even found myself agreeing with Cris Carter who said, basically, if you don't want them running up the score, stop them. BLITZ their asses. As John Clayton points out in his sidebar on the Raiders vs Steelers in the 1970s in the "In Their Own Words..." article at espn.com:

Bill Belichick wouldn't have gotten away with running up scores in the 1970s,
when the Raiders and Steelers were battling each other for AFC superiority. From
the physical play on the field to the verbal and legal battles off of it,
Steelers-Raiders was great drama.

Which brings me to the TMQ column. He takes great pains to make sure everyone knows why Tony Dungy and Peyton Manning are the epitome of everything that is good about America and why they should be beloved, and how Belichick, et. al. are the epitome of everything we should hate.

But he's wrong. And, sorry, Dan, but you're wrong, too. If the Patriots deserve an asterisk next to their dynasty, it's courtesy of Walt Coleman, not the "cheating" scandal. You know how Eric Mangini (and can his nickname be officially changed from "Man-genius" to Man-gina?) knew that camera was there? Because he used to work for Belichick. Shit, he probably started out as camera boy before working his way up to coordinator.

The point I'm getting at here is that Easterbrook made me kind of like this Patriots team, because the words he used to describe them in his column--arrogance, hubris--are words that people use to describe Al Davis. Who do you think invented not speaking to the media? I can't help but to think that the way the Patriots are destroying teams right now, with Randy catching everything in a 10-yard radius, is what he envisioned when he brought Randy here in the first place. The problem is that he brought him to play for Norv Turner, and then for Art Shell and Tom "My Own Private Idaho" Walsh. Just like the Raiders were the team everyone hated in the 70s, accused of being part of a "Criminal Element," the Patriots are being piled on and hated on now.

So I think New England wins this Sunday. I wouldn't even be surprised if they blow Indy out. It reminds me of when Michael Spinks fought Mike Tyson on my birthday in 1987. Everyone was so desperate for someone to beat Mike Tyson that they were talking themselves into things like "Well, Spinks never LOST his crown," and "finally someone who can put Iron Mike in his place." He got smoked in 90 seconds, and my dad was pissed that he paid $45 for that just because it's what I wanted for my birthday. Seriously, that was my worst birthday present ever. And from then on I decided if someone looks clearly dominant, it's because they ARE.

So, NE wins, 31-24, with Indy making it look close with a couple of late TDs.

The Niners will win a...err, dogfight in Atlanta, 13-9.

And the Raiders, with McCown under center and Fargas rushing for a buck-fifty. Sllaacs is already wrong about Daunte getting sacked.

Houston, YOU Have a Problem

I hope to see that T-shirt on my brother's back when I travel to Texas this weekend to visit him while escaping the Bay Area blackout. I'm not sure they are even showing the game in Texas. At least the trip should provide an opportunity to help build my 3-month-old niece's love for the Silver & Black.

So after a close loss to the Oilers, the Raiders are turning to Sam Houston State alum Josh McCown to face the Replacement Oilers. I tend to agree with McDonald - it's the right move. While it caused a lot of controversy, Gannon was merely pointing out the obvious while discussing the eternity it seemed to take for Daunte to get out from under Newberry. That and an expanded playbook should help the O-line return to form. Or at least not facing three of the NFL's top defensive fronts should help.

After 7 games things are a bit weird for the Raiders. We are vastly improved from last year, yet we have won just as many games. We are carrying more QBs than WRs on the roster. Justin Fargas is the best RB on a roster including LaMont Jordan, Dominic Rhodes, and Michael Bush. The defense has suddenly arrived while continuing to fail against the run - and now our best run stopper is on IR. But at this point we have to start winning, and one can argue that we've lost a lot of close games against some pretty decent competition. So I am going with the Raiders over the Texans 27-17. Curry will catch 10 passes and LaMont will get back in the end zone. The defense will give up some rushing yards but will cause multiple turnovers. I will wear my Lester Hayes home jersey in Texas.

Is it just me or are 49ers ads the worst? Fittingly, they are a huge disappointment this year, but not as disappointing as a Falcons team playing out the season on "Bernard" Petrino's free pass. I'm willing to go 49ers 17 - Falcons 14 in a shocking upset.

Can someone tell me what the graphics near each sideline at the 50-yard line in Gillette Stadium are supposed to be? I think I knew this at some point (and sure I could look it up), but it looks like a facemask sticking out of a volcano, and I just can't get past that. As for the big hypefest, New England is most certainly studying video of Indy's defensive signals from January's game, and that will help them to a 34-30 victory on the road. No matter how many games they win, nothing can change the fact that the New England Patriots are convicted cheaters.

Daunte!

Okay, I feel bad for McCown. I really do. He's a tough kid, he tries really hard, and I don't like to see anybody get hurt. Except for maybe Randy Moss. And I don't really want to see him get hurt so much as maybe get E-coli from a bad batch of wheat grass in one of his smoothies.

So I'm sorry McCown got hurt. But I'm really excited to see what Daunte's going to do.

By the way, if you have Sunday Ticket, the RedZone Channel shows the Raiders game, blackout or no, when either they or the Browns are in the red zone, or if it's the only game that's not currently in a time out.