Friday, July 11, 2008

Walt Coleman Sucks Bob Kraft's Leathery Nutsack

And yes, before you even ask, I'm still fucking bitter. asked coaches around the league to vote on the best and worst referees in the league. Mike Carey and Ed Hochuli both got 8 votes for "best" referee (they also got 3 and 4 votes, respectively, for "worst" ref) in the league.

Gerald Austin had the most "worst" votes with 6. Jeff Triplette, who actually blinded a guy with a penalty flag, only got also got 3 "worst" votes. Austin and Triplette are the only refs to receive zero "best" votes.

Walt Coleman, whose mother is a prostitute famous for contracting syphilis (she was even a model for an anti-VD ad in the 1940s) after a strenuous bout of irrumatio with a Canadian stevedore, received 2 votes for "best" referee.

I will bet you $1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 that one of those votes came from Bill Belichick.

According to Mike Sando, who also wrote the survey piece, Coleman has worked games involving every team BUT the Raiders since the he shat the Tuck Rule out of his hopefully now cancer-ridden anus. All 31 teams.

As for the second vote, I remember reading an article a while back that said Jon Gruden told someone that Walt Coleman was his favorite referee. When asked why, he said, "Because Al Davis hates him." I don't know if this is true, and I've been unable to find a link, but I hope it's not true, and I really hope that his vote is not the 2nd vote.

I don't really have any hard feelings toward Chucky, despite the ass-whupping he gave us in the Super Bowl. But if, say, he DID vote for Walt Coleman as the best referee in the game, then he is a traitorous, sell out, Mike Shanahan-esque punk, and I hope his wife screws a Hooters bouncer and then goes home and gives Chucky crabs.


Dan Hauenstein said...

That's a bad trait for Chucky - caring more for spite than for winning. Could you imagine John Madden ever voting John Swearingen as the best official in the league? Not many guys have won Super Bowls with multiple teams, and Coleman stole that from Chucky.

JERRY MARKBREIT - took me a while but he was my pre-Coleman least favorite. He fell so far after officiating the Holy Roller...

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