Bronco Bill names Gradkowski AFC West Player of the Week

Congratulations to Bruce Almighty for being the AFC West player of the week over at Bill Williamson's AFC West blog. He really did play a great game. Yes, he got some lucky breaks, but you know what they say about luck being created by hard work. Or something. Some guy named Thomas Jefferson said it. I think he was one of Al Davis's fellow Founding Fathers.

Anyway, Jerry Mac counts down the top five wins since the wheels came off in 2003. Feel free to insert your "Well, that couldn't have been hard, since they've only won five games since 2003" joke here. The one that catches my attention is the 2004 game against Tampa Bay, in Chucky's return to the Coliseum, and the rematch of Super Bowl Debacle XXXVIII. The Raiders were 1-1 under Norv Turner, and if I remember correctly, Rich Gannon was lighting it up, narrowly losing to Pittsburgh in the opener. The game against Tampa was the last game he ever played, because he broke his neck on Derrick Brooks' hit. I always thought that if Rich keeps playing well, that season turns out differently, and maybe what Norv has going on down in San Diego is happening here. Anyway, if "'If' was a fifth," as Sllaacs likes to say, "we'd all be drunk."

Hater of the Week: Mark Schlereth

Yes, I know he's a Bronco. But calling the Garcia signing an "indictment" of JaMarcus is retarded. And how he can give props to a team like Uncle Norval's Chargers, who have been content to rest on their 8-8 laurels is beyond me. In fairness, he says he loves Tom Cable. So do we. Anyway.

It's fitting that Broncos' Spokesperson Williamson would embed this in his Denver Broncos blog on ESPN.com.

Tonight's Game

You heard it here first: Tom Cable is rumored to be the leading candidate for the head coach opening at THE Ohio College of Clowning Arts.

Hopefully, they won't have to siphon cash from their tiny car fuel budget to pay him, the way Tennessee is having cut the heat off in their buildings to pay Lance.

I'm back to despairing the Raiders. Yes, I'm going to watch the game, but I don't plan on enjoying it. Norv's Chargers are probably going to roll us tonight, 27-3.

Can't wait to see Seabass lined up in the Wildcat.

Halftime: 15-0 Raiders

There was a beautiful long ball over the middle to Miller for a TD. Cornell Green's holding penalties are Killing us, one nullifying a TD run by Bush.

Kiff sent Seabass out for a 76 yard field goal attempt as time expired.

That was funny.

Kalimba Edwards is dominating. So is the rest of the defense, even with Chris Johnson getting most of Nmamdi's time.

This is fun.

Heard from Dan, he's at the Fox Sports cafe at O'Hare. He got there just after the Miller TD.

Home Cookin' in Denver

Just when I had decided that I'm not mustering as much hate for Denver - despite last week's result - and that Philip Rivers is so unlikable that I am finally mustering some hate for San Diego, I find myself feeling sorry for our old pal Norv Turner based on a couple of homer calls in Denver that have Shanahan looking more like a rat than ever.

In the first quarter, Denver gets a fumble on a play that pretty clearly showed that Chambers was down. That set up the Broncos deep in San Diego territory for an early touchdown. Norv threw the challenge flag, of course, but after two minutes under the hood, Ed Hochuli returned to explain that the replay equipment was not working, so the play stands as called. Couldn't you call Dick Enberg, Ed?

That was a weird one, but the fourth quarter call was just a bad one. With goal to go from the 1 yard line and down by 7, Cutler dropped back and dropped the ball as he cocked his arm to throw. The ball flew backwards and hit the ground, prompting Hochuli to blow the whistle for an incompletion. So it was wrong on two counts, and upon review, Hochuli agreed that it was a fumble. Trouble is, he had blown his whistle, so Denver keeps the ball.

Of course the Broncos went on to score a TD two downs later and won the game on a "bold" (because it paid off) two-point conversion.

Shanahan!

John's Picks

I got an email from my attorney, Nappy McBigtoe, threatening to renounce baseball after Billy Beane traded Nick Swisher yesterday. To quote my mother-in-law, "God Damn It." That pretty much sums up the feeling today for those of us who root for McAfee Coliseum's other team.

Anyway, Sllaacs, also a huge A's fan (weird thing about the Bay Area that there a lot of A's/Niners fans and Giants/Raiders fans), is trying to talk me out of it, but I'm also thinking of Renouncing Baseball.

Anyway, this weeks picks:

The Giants beat Tampa Bay, which will expedite the hiring of Raheem Morris as the Raiders new defensive coordinator. (UPDATE: Or not.)

Seattle beats Washington. They just don't lose at home, even if they had to pay Texas A&M when they ripped off the "12th Man."

Even though they're a different species of big ass cat, the Steelers are about to get roy'd at home this weekend. I saw what that defense did against the JaMarcus Russell and the Raiders juggernaut...er...anyway, they're really good. So is the Jaguars running game. You can read that anywhere. Even Nancy Gay agrees they can run the ball.

Finally, Norv and the Dischargers vs. the Titans. Let's just say I hope Albert Haynesworth steps on Philip Rivers' head with his cleats, cutting that smug smirk off right off of it. I really hate them now. But they probably win this week, considering they're most likely going to face Kerry Collins.

Playoffs!? Sllaacs Picks Every Game

Got an email this morning from Sllaacs:

So it's playoff time, my squad - the San Francisco Shay-Heezies are home watching - I would think. I mean, those losers should be watching players who have experienced success in order to motivate thier asses to improve in the off season. At least the Niners are a young team, if no longer a Bryant Young team.

Playoff picks:

I'm picking Washington to go into Seattle and beat the Seahawks asses, 20-6. Because Seattle sucks.

Jacksonville at Pitt looks like a good matchup. I will take the Steelers at home 35-17.

N.Y. Giants vs the Tampa Bay Garcias. Of course I'm taking Gruden and Goldmember at home against Eli; the Manning who sucks. 24 - 17 Bucs.

It would be nice to see Tennessee beat the Chargers, but it won't happen. San Diego will win easily 30 - 16.

As for the recently completed S.F. Forty-Niners season:

The defense played well overall with a few standouts - Patick Willis, of course resembled a young Ray Lewis while leading the NFL in tackles. Nate Clements lived up to his hype, and Bryant Young polished off a career as one of the best interior D-linemen in NFL history.

The offense... They were hurt by the loss of Norv Turner as OC - no doubt. Rookie Joe Staley started all 16 games (acquired last year from the Patriots for this years #1 pick). Gore managed 1100 rushing yards. The punter punted 105 times. 105 punts, in one season. Uno-Cero-Cinco. Cientocinco. 4,968 punt yards. Think about that Raider fan. Revel in it; laugh out loud about it. The Niners used four quarterbacks to start games this year, including the great Chris Weinke - rhymes with 'stinky'.

The Niners still won more games than your team did. If you look at the scores in some of the losses, a true fan could even rationalize that with a competent QB all year 7 wins could have easily happened. I point will point out three winnable games: vs. Baltimore 9-7, vs. ATL 20-16, and losing to the fucking Rams in S.F. 13-9. Dante Culpepper could have won those games for the Niners.

Alex Smith gets a Mulligan; he got hurt on national television for all to see, he said he was hurt, threw like he was hurt, had surgery like he was hurt. QB competion in camp is welcome. This Niner fan will just see what happens, eat my cheese, drink my wine and see what the first four games of next season brings. Then I will choose a proper emotion.


Sllaacs

John's Picks

I was at Trader Joe's today with the Professor and Baby Lily, the one in Westlake, Daly City.
I get of the car, I have the baby on my shoulders, and some asshole sees my Raiders hoodie and actually yelled "BRONCOS!"

For real? You bet. I actually turned around and asked him that. "Really?" And then I just laughed, because it was so absurd. Since I live on this side of the bay, I expect and am used to a fair amount of harassment from 49ers fans. That's perfectly acceptable, since I live less than two miles from Candlestick, and it is after all San Francisco.

But "BRONCOS!?" I hope that guy gets botulism.

Onto the picks. I'm hoping to see most of the game tonight despite going to dinner with my sister-in-law and nephew for his birthday. They're not football fans so they plan these things without regard for the schedule. Anyway, I'm thinking it should be a pretty good game, and that the Giants will play everyone at least a half. Their pass rush should match up pretty well with Brady and them. But still, NE wins by a lot.

Well, Shay-heezy is jacked up. Fractured the transverse processes in three vertebrae. I'm not a doctor so I don't know what the hell that means, but I'm guessing when the words "fracture" and "vertebrae" appear in the same sentence it's not good. Those words appeared in a sentence about Christopher Reeve once. It was all bad. Even worse, Chris Weinke is getting the start. Niners lose, by a lot.

And now JaMarcus meets Norv and the HGH dis-Chargers crew. 2-0 against the AFC West the 2nd time around for Lane Kiffin. Let's make it 3-0. Maybe bring in Pops Kiffin to run the D next year.

I'm in.

Jeffri Chadiha is funny.

I know we haven't written anything in a long time, and it may have looked like we would never post again, but really, did anyone miss us? Not when Jerry McDonald at the Trib is writing the best blog on the planet, scooping everyone on Raiders news and insights a couple of times a week.

Surfing around today while bored at work, I saw a link on ESPN.com that said:

Chadiha: Mild-mannered coaches becoming the norm.

This hilarious for a couple of reasons. First, because I don't think it's an accident that the "norm" in the link reminds people of "Norv," because that's exactly what the article's about, how the Chargers are going to be awesome because they're loaded and Norv is a "Player's" coach. It also mentions some other well-known winners and champions, guys like new Cowboys coach Wade Phillips and the Bills' Dick Jauron. Chadiha's tenuous argument rests on the fact that Tony Dungy and Lovie Smith are coaches who took their teams to the Super Bowl last year with a "civil approach" and "don't rely on intimidation, ridged rules, and silly mindgames to motivate their teams."

Being non-intimidating might be the ONLY thing Smith and Dungy have in common with the retreads mentioned above. Not mentioned is that Lovey Smith and Tony Dungy are good coaches.

Seriously, ask any Raiders fan about the Norv era. He sounded like Lyle from Napolean Dynamite. Whenever Greg Papa would ask him a question about the week's practices and game planning leading up to Sunday, I half expected Norv to point to a spot out on the practice field and say, "Over there by the tackling dummy we found a couple of Shoshone arrowheads." (Check around 1:50 mark of this clip and tell that doesn't sound like Norv.")

But the funniest part of the article comes in this quote from Jeff Garcia:

"There is such a broad range of players coming into this league now that a good coach has to be able to deal with that. When you have a my-way-or-the-highway coach, not every player is going to respond to that. I haven't experienced playing for a coach like that, but I can honestly say I wouldn't want to play for one. It's pretty hard to play this game in a bad environment, and unfortunately, there are still some coaches in this league who can create a bad environment with that style." (emphasis added)

Guess what, Goldmember, you're about to find out. This is the same Jeff Garcia who just signed to play for Chuckie Gruden, who--now that Parcells is retired--has to be the ultimate my-way-or-the-highway coach in the league.

So save me the mild-mannered coaches are the norm crap. What teams need are good coaches. Hopefully Kiffin is one for the Raiders.