Sunday, August 17, 2008

Sllaacs: A view from the bottom

I am not excited by the upcoming NFL season. My malaise is not just because I've a been a rabid sports fan for 22 years of the Digital Age and am weary of the constant deluge of useless sports rhetoric, but largely I am not juiced for a more basic reason: My. Team. Sucks. So does Green Bay, by the way - and anyone the San Francisco Forty-Niners beat this pre-and regular season upcoming.
What will the 49ers do differently this season than last? They attempted to score and not be scored upon for 20 games last season (pre-season and regular season), and the season before, and so on, since the last time they played more than 20 games in a season and actually made the playoffs, which was... Which was.. "A Long Time Ago, In a Galaxy Far, Far, Away". Thinking back to the past - that is what I, Niner Fan, have been reduced to...
I think I now know how Raider Fan has been feeling for all these years. All I would hear from Raider Fans when I was in High School was; Bo Jackson, Marcus Allen, Ken Stabler and Howie Long, The Greatness of The Raiders, The past Championships from the pre-Super Bowl era; and of course, how the Niners sucked real bad before Walsh, Montana, and Company.
This also reminds me of why I became Niners fan in the first place - and it wasn't for fashion. When I became a sports fan around 11 years of age, there was only one Bay Area Professional Football team. (Some would say there is still only one or none at all to be precise).
Anyhow, Done. One team in the area, Niners - So I'm a fan. Why would I change - just because I live in Oakland, and the Raiders "Came Back"? So what. Who did the favor, Oakland or Al Davis? Who thinks the Raiders were happy playing in L.A., in a venue as big as the Grand Canyon? Trust me, the mistique, or reputation or "aura" of the Oakland Raiders does not represent the Average Oakland Resident. And nor does the Average Oakland Resident give a rats ass about Al Davis - which matches how much the Average Oakland Resident cares about the team across the Bay. The Raiders do not represent Oakland. And if they do, then why doesn't it say "Oakland" on the Raiders uniforms and helmets? I guess for the same reason we have the Golden State Warriors. At least the Niners show allegiance to the city of San Francisco.

In summation: Both Bay Area teams are likely to miss the 2008-2009 NFL postseason, and that is putting it mildly. Hopefully the Niners will get decent Quarterbacking this season, but it doesn't seem likely, and the Raiders have untapped potential to keep them warm, for now. Anyhow I think this hackneyed equation I just came up with applies to both teams this year:

Weak QB + Weak Offense + (Weak Offense x Lame/Overworked Defense) + (Good Coaching -Bad Coaching) + Long Season = 3 Wins

Plain and simple. This has been a tough last few years for Niner Fan, I think. We were used to the San Franciso Forty Niners trotting out either a Hall-of-Fame QB or a Pro Bowl QB. To have to adjust to scrubs is painful. So, like I stated before: I am not excited by the upcoming NFL Season.



John Sousa said...

God Damn, dude. Why don't you just put on a Morrissey CD, take a bottle of aspirin, and put a plastic bag over your head.

Dan Hauenstein said...

Are you saying Alex Smith is not the next Joe Montana?