NFL.com is Emo

About six weeks ago, I DVR'd a Morrissey Concert on HDNet. It was "Morrissey: Who Put the 'M' in Manchester?" and it was recorded on his birthday in 2004. I recorded because I know the Professor is a big Morrissey fan. Okay, after spending my high school career sneering at the kids in the Theatre Department who wore leather jackets and pompadours, I've grown up and become a fan myself.

What I didn't expect is that my daughter Lily would become obsessed with him. She watched the concert one day, and it's her favorite. Morrissey is her favorite. Her favorite song is "The Headmaster Ritual," which she calls "I don't want to go home, I just want to stay," as in, "Daddy, I want to hear my favorite, 'I don't want to go home, I just want to stay." It's a pretty morbid favorite song for a girl who just turned 3 last week. It's also kind of cool, because everyone else I know with a 3 year-old is still listening to Raffi.

Anyway, so we're watching Sunday Countdown on ESPN, and they show that new NFL.com commercial that has somebody else (Seal?) singing "Every Day is Like Sunday." And Lily heard it and was like "WHO'S THAT!?" because she knows that song and it wasn't Morrissey singing it. It's easily the 2nd stupidest song ever used in a commercial after Wrangler used "Fortunate Son" in a jeans commercial.

Just like the Wrangler ad cut off the lyrics from "Fortunate Son" just after "...born to wave the red white and blue," leaving out "But when the band plays 'Hail to the Chief,'/ they point the cannon at you," the NFL.com spot leaves out all the stuff where Morrissey is begging for Armageddon and nuclear bombs to destroy the seaside town, leaving just "Every day is like Sunday."

Although, not to go all Dave Zirin here, but the "armageddon" and "nuclear bomb" references are not that out of place in the context of the NFL, with all the football-as-war metaphors, and the Air Force and Navy Jets buzzing the stadiums after the National Anthem. But "every day is silent and gray?" Not so much, unless, as the Professor helpfully points out, you live in Los Angeles, as Morrissey does, where there is no NFL team. In terms of NFL Football, every day is indeed silent and gray.

I always wonder who proposes these songs to the guys in charge of marketing at these companies. And looking at the choices, you'd think that corporate executives have never listened to the goddam radio in their lives.

Sllaacs Picks

What is there to say? Johnny seems to be dead on, but in the interest of being different I will choose the Niners over the Rams (SF should have swept their sorry asses last year) 16-10, I will take the Pack over the Vikes, cuz while both teams suck, at least Rodgers is interesting. I, being a relatively astute football fan will of course take the Broncos over the Raiders, (35-6) because to choose otherwise would be insane. Miami and New York is only sexy because of Favre, but in the effort of being different, I'll go with Miami, 20-14.

P.S. This year, I think we should keep a running win/loss record for each of us. I say "not it".

Sllaacs

John's Picks

We should have done this a couple of days ago, and I was hoping dobolina would join Sllaacs, Dan and me by adding the Packers to our list of games, making it 4: 9ers, Raiders, Packers, and a random.

Let's do it anyway:

The 49ers suck. They're just awful. And the Cardinals are going to destroy them, 18-3. They get 3 because I like Nedney, and he's their whole offense.

Aaron Rodgers debuts as Favre's replacement against the Vikings in Monday Night's JV game. All I know is that Adrian Peterson had some dominant performances for me last year as my fantasy RB. With the Packers defense hurting, he will rush for 270 yards and 4 touchdowns, and beat the Packers 28-17.

Dan and I will be in the house Monday night for the Varsity matchup verse the Donkeys. I was there last year, and while the game is starting too late for us to take Lily this year, I'm expecting a similar result. Especially if the Denver training staff forgets to pack Cutler's insulin.

For the Random Game, let's go with the Jets vs. Miami. No matter what Lombardi says, Quentin Moses is not going to sack Brett Favre this weekend. Miami still sucks, even if they're no longer Tuna safe. Jets win 21-6.

Just a question, does the cover of Madden '09 qualify for Straight Cash Homey!?

Just

Ocho Cinco

Today CBS Sportsline made an announcement: "As of Saturday, Sept. 6, 2008, Chad Johnson will become Chad Ocho Cinco in the player pool."

I love it. I think this Ocho Cinco thing is hilarious. Some of the too serious commentators have said his act is getting old, but what's old about an NFL player actually changing his name - legally - to get a laugh?

Years ago, I can recall being shocked to learn that my dad was a fan of Dennis Rodman. It was well known in my family that my dad despised Chicago sports "hero" Jim McMahon for his antics, and on the surface Rodman seemed a similar distraction. But there was a key difference. McMahon, with his Adidas side deal, had undermined the basic financial system upon which the NFL - and the associated wealth of its players - was based. Rodman was crazy, but he brought more attention to his team and his league. After all, sports are entertainment businesses. And importantly, Rodman delivered on the court.

(It was later that I would learn Rodman has a taste for fast powerboats, but I think that's beside the point).

Chad Ocho Cinco is an entertainer, and he delivers on the field. Despite some offseason contract complaints, he's likely to play through this season in pain. And tomorrow I'll have a good laugh as I watch him trot out with "Ocho Cinco" permanently stitched to the back of his uniform.

One hope I have is that columnists and commentators quit using the situation to show off the deep bilingual skills they developed while half paying attention to their eighth grade Spanish teachers. Yeah, we all know that "Eighty-five" would literally translate to "Ochenta y cinco." He's not saying eighty-five. He's saying eight-five. Ok, Nancy?

At least she picked the Raiders.

Peterson Makes Amends

His preview is pretty effing awesome.

Prediction: The Raiders will Win "It" After All

The Raiders signed two of the worst players in San Francisco Forty-Niners history: Kwame Harris and Ashlie Lelie.  They have a Head Coach who hates at least half of his roster and an owner who ostensibly wants the coach to quit.  They have a young and supremely unproven quarterback, unimpressive receiving corps and an iffy running game.  With an offense like the Raiders displayed last year and so far in the preseason, you can't even really judge the defense.  So yeah, the Raiders have it locked - They will "win" (personally, I like "earn") the 1st pick in the next Lottery, somehow out-sucking the 49ers.

Sllaacs

Bad Omen for 49ers?

Sllaacs helpfully pointed out this story to me via email. A 78 year-old 49er fan was killed by a runaway police horse.

He's just hoping that's not a metaphor for the 49ers' season.