John's Week 10 Picks

I don't know what to think this week. Sllaacs picking the Raiders to win has me seriously discombobulated. I was all set to pick against the Raiders as a means of reverse-jinxing them (at least until the Denver game, which I have tickets to and will be the first time I get to see them in person this year--lame for a Raiders blogger, I know, but shit, man, preschool and diapers and chocolate milk are expensive) but now I think Sllaacs may have done it for me.

That's right, see, because the Raiders are bad enough this year, and so obviously rebuilding that they can't be jinxed. They were jinxed the minute Walt Coleman pulled the Tuck Rule out of his polyp-riddled asshole, which led to Chuckie's bouncing and subsequent trouncing of our boys in Super Bowl Who-gives-a-shit-that-was-the-worst-day-of-my-sports-watching-life.

I know Griese sucks, but he was 5-3 against us when he was with the Donkeys, the Three losses coming in the '01 and '02, Chuckie's last year when he finally ended the losing streak and the Super Bowl year, when Rod Woodson took that pick back 96 yards to the house. Point being, when Griese played on those good Donkey teams against horrible or rebuilding Raiders teams, he won. (Check out his stats, you can see Denver's W-L records by clicking on the team name next to the year.)

This is clearly a rebuilding year. But you know what? Fuck it. Sllaacs is right about this one. No Tank Johnson means Huggie Jr. is running his ass off Sunday. Plus, I had a dream the other night that Josh McCown was getting cheered by the home crowd after throwing a touchdown pass early. Raiders win 17-14.

I was thinking that the Niners owned the Artists Formerly Known as the Gulls (when they were in the AFC West), but that was last year when everyone was optimistic about this year's team making the playoffs. Now, they're a mess. Even Sllaacs is asking for Derek Anderson next year. Seattle wins, 21-9, even though Shaun Alexander doesn't play well because his man-gina is sore.

As for the Cleveland/Pittsburgh game, if you think Cleveland is winning this game than you're an idiot. I benched Carson Palmer for Ben Roethlisberger--permanently--on my fantasy squad a couple of weeks and I haven't lost since. If he put up 5 TDs in the first half against the Ravens last week (although, while watching that 75th anniversary celebration at halftime on Monday night, I couldn't help but think that somewhere, Al Davis and John Madden were throwing up bile), he might put up 8 against Cleveland. There's no way the Steelers lose this game. Pittsburgh wins 38-27.

Week 10 Apocalypse: Sllaacs Picks the Raiders!

From my Inbox this morning:

Dear Asshat,

This week I will take the following the following stances:

Raiders vs. Chicago

I will take Oakland in this game - am I crazy? Probably, but Brian Griese is not much better than the Bay Area quarterbacks, and the Raiders do have a run game. Kiffin starting Culpepper would make me feel better about choosing the Raiders, but I could see Josh McNown/Cade McCown - now which is it? - finding a way to make
enough plays against the suck-ass Bears. 20-17 Oakland.

Niners vs. Seattle

The Niners will win this one - why? Because Seattle sucks - they
do - and the whole world will know it when they scan over the
boxscore in the papers on Tuesday. No one will watch, but S.F. will
beat the Seahawks asses in thier own house, on Monday Night Football, no less. 17 - 9 S.F.

Cleveland vs. Pittsburg

Okay, so I took a leap on those two predictions, but what the hell. There is a small movement among Niner fans to try and snatch up Derek Anderson from Cleveland as a free agent this offseason - since the Browns drafted that QB - who is it, Brady Quinn? It would cost the Niners a 1st and 3rd round pick, so Cleveland would probably welcome the exchange. In that spirit, I will pick the only compelling game this week; Pittsburgh vs. Cleveland. Today, the Steelers are favored by a whopping 9 1/2 points. Any gambler would take Cleveland's high octane offense and the points. I will take Cleveland outright - to win on the road 34 - 30.

Heart,

Sllaacs.

So far the sky is still up.