Masochism and (American) Football

There's a blog post by this guy Bagehot over at the Economist, "Of masochism and football," that that has a paragraph that rings true to this fan of American football. Particularly this Raiders fan:

Watching football, particularly but not only in the flesh, has obvious similarities with religious worship. There are rituals, there are chants, there are regular seats and neighbours, as there might be in more orthodox places of prayer, plus the elusive sense of community that churches or synagogues can provide. And football, like many religions, works on a principle of deferred (sometimes endlessly deferred) gratification, promising but withholding a heaven of success reached by most supporters only very rarely. The scarifying waiting, with all its failures and disappointments, is not incidental to the attraction: it is, I think, much of the point. It is an exquisite and addictive form of self-punishment.

The deferment he's referring to here is about goal scoring in soccer, but it applies to us Raiders fans, recently anyway, in terms of touchdowns (especially the Art Shell/Tom Walsh squad) and wins. But extrapolating this into American Football, I would say that the comparisons to the churches and synagogues remain, and I would add that American football is played on Sundays. Even at the lower levels, High school and college, the games are played after sundown on Fridays and on Saturday afternoons. And our stadia, especially the new ones, are as spectacular in their architecture as any cathedral.

Part of what is so frustrating about being a Raiders fan, and I imagine that a lot of 49ers fans feel this way, probably even more than we do, is that at one time, we were great. Al Davis, the renegade, the outsider who came from Brooklyn with a middle finger sticking in Pete Rozelle's eye, won ballgames with style. We were John Madden screaming at refs. Jim Plunkett winning Super Bowls and being immortalized in 460 Years of Chicano History.

Now, John Madden's a video game salesman, Jim Plunkett's a preseason radio personality, and Al Davis is an aging, senile patriarch.

But we stay faithful, I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because the uniforms are still badass. Or maybe because we know that as sad as it is, Al will pass on, eventually, and he can be remembered as he was in his (relative) youth, when his team dominated more than situations involving overhead projectors.

Bill Romanowski: Character Witness for the Defense

Phil Barber catches up with Bill Romanowski:

I have no idea what the coach did or didn't do. Nobody does. All's I know is I just talked to him for 10 minutes--I like his ass. I'll tell you that straight up. He's a straight shooter and I said, "If you need anybody to help you out, I got your back."

Thanks, Romo. I'm sure coach appreciates it. With friends like these? Anyway, he goes on to talk about why he's a Raider-por-Vida now:

By the way, though two of his former teams were going head-to-head in Napa, Romo's allegiances were clearly defined. In retirement, he's a Raider.

"As far as football goes, this is my team," he said. "I played for both of them, but I'll tell you a true story. When I left and retired, I got one call and only one. I was close to a lot of people, close to a lot of organizations, and it was from Al Davis [...] I love Mr. Davis. I do [...] at the end of the day, I want to see this organization kick ass. Because at the end of my career, they let me play another year and half.

It Just Keeps Getting Worse

In a column that makes Lowell Cohn's read like a John Herrera transcript, Mike Silver takes a chainsaw to the Raiders. This quote, from an unidentified former player, makes me want to throw up:

“That [Romanowski punch] got the publicity, but I saw so many things like that,” says one former Raiders player who is now with another team. “I saw a player push a coach and get his game check taken away. Other players would cuss out coaches and get away with it. One coach made a smartass comment and a player pushed him almost to the ground. I saw a coach take a swing at a player. Coaches were verbally going after other coaches. And guys were getting drunk in meetings or coming to practice still drunk from the night before. They’d throw up before we went out on the field, or you could smell the liquor on their breath.”

NFP broke the story about Hanson's decision to go to the Police. He's also lawyered up.

Is it Morrissey time already? Last year we made it to October before giving up. It's still August.

Question for Cam Inman

What's so disturbing about JaMarcus taking off his gear after practice? It was over, right? And what's he supposed to do, carry his own stuff? Isn't that why the team employs equipment staff?

This a serious question, because I just don't understand. Is there some kind of unwritten rule that you don't take off your pads until you get into the locker room?

About that Hater of the Week...

Dan wrote a really great post the other day giving Lowell Cohn the HOTW award for his one-two punch evisceration of the Raiders in columns on Sunday and Monday.

Nobody takes the piss out of the Raiders like Lowell Cohn. I stand by it. And it's mainly because we know, deep down, that what he's writing is probably true, at least when it comes to writing about Al Davis. That's why it hurts so much.

But then came the news that Chaz Schilens, who had looked so good in camp, broke his foot.

And then came news that the league is investigating the Jawbreaker incident.

And now we get word that the offense this morning, in the joint practice with the 49ers, was an atrocity.

And Mike Florio at PFT gets to unleash his wit on the Raiders:

And regardless of whether Cable punched Hanson with a fist, threw him out of a chair, or went Bob DeNiro-as-Al Capone with a Louisville Slugger, Hanson suffered a fractured facial bone during his fracas with Cable.

And in discussing the beatdown the offense took this morning:

Raiders coach Tom Cable likely was frustrated enough to punch someone.

Or throw someone out of a chair.

Or maybe a little of both.

Har-dee-fucking-har. What's apparent now is that the real Hater of the Week isn't Lowell Cohn, or Mike Florio, or even Nancy Gay.

It's God.

That's right. That's the only thing it could be: God has cursed the Oakland Raiders. Otherwise, why would be suffering the football equivalent of the Egyptian plagues, in injuries, ridicule, and losses? The only thing left if is for God to strike down the first-born sons of every player and coach.

ESPN Sucks

Bronco Bill gets called away to Minneapolis to help cover the Brett Favre signing. Like it's a national emergency, and he's Anderson Cooper or something. Give me a break.

Because lord knows ESPN doesn't have enough boots on the ground in Minnesota right now. Unless Ed Werder and Mort got lost somewhere in Brett's colon.

The only people excited about Brett Favre coming back are Mike Vick and Tom Cable, because nobody's talking about them anymore.

God Hates Us

What a week. First, Cable's cold cock.

Now, Chaz Schilens, our number #1 receiver, has a broken foot.

Schilens says he'll play against the Chargers if God does a miracle. But since God obviously hates the Oakland Raiders, he'll probably get gangrene and never play again.

I'll talk to you guys later. I have to clean the oven.