This One's on Cable.

This game came down to two plays: the fake field goal and the 4th-and-3. You get 6 points out of those plays and the game is over. I mean, what a bunch of crap.

By the way, I hate the Raiders right now. Last week, I expected them to get blown out, and what happens? They put up a 31-10 beat down in Denver. I get all excited, thinking to myself, "Hey, they may have turned a corner. Let's get some."

But then they go out and lose to crappiest team not named "Detroit" or "St. Louis."

And now, once again, the Raiders are losers.

"I'm in dispair"

This first quarter is some of the worst football I've ever seen the Raiders play.

We can't tackle.

We can't hit.

He can't rush.

We can't pass.

Watching the Raiders play today reminds me of a joke:

This guy is throwing a party. He wants the party to have a theme, but he wants to do something original, because he's been to way to many Pimp'n'Ho/Cowboy Up/Tart'n'Vicar/Toga parties. So he tells people to come dressed as an emotion. However they're feeling that day, that's how they should dress.

So the yellow coward is there, the green with envy person, the so-angry-I'm-Red guy is in the house. You've also got the depressed lady dressed in black.

After a while, the doorbell rings. The guy opens his door to see two men. One of them has a pear into which a hole has been cut and his thumb inserted. The other guy has his dick in a cup of tapioca pudding.

"Whoa, fellas," the host exclaims. "I don't know what you thought, but this is not that type of party. You're supposed to come dressed as an emotion."

"I'm in dispair," says the guy with his thumb in a pair.

And the pudding guy says, "And I'm fucking dis custard."

Did the Ravens Get Another Bye?

Normally this would qualify Mike Preston of the Baltimore Sun for Hater of the Week status. But I'm back to being discouraged, and pretty much everything the guy wrote is true. This is brutal:

Didn't the Raiders look like a team out of NFL Europe? To the Ravens' credit, they did exactly what they're supposed to do against bad teams. They kicked the Raiders around physically and sent them back home.

It's hard to evaluate the Ravens' performance because everything starts with this qualifier: It was against the Raiders. Oakland has no offensive line. The Raiders' coverage units on special teams were pathetic, and their defense tried to play man-to-man in the secondary with no pass rush.

He goes on to destroy the "West Coast Team Playing at 10:00amPT in the East" excuse with this:

But there is no excuse for the Raiders. They would stink up the field anywhere in the world at any time.

(h/t: Jerry Mac)

Mike Williams Sucks

Mike Williams is killing us. He should join Taylor on the waiver wire.

And now Braylon Edwards gets 6. This is Williams' fault.

At least when he was dropping passes, we could punt or kick a field goal.