Joey Porter Guarantees a Dolphin Victory

All I can say is, "It's on."

Joey Porter is a jackass. It's not enough to be punching people at blackjack tables. Now he's guaranteeing a victory over the Raiders this Sunday.

"Write it how you want to write it," Porter said. "We will win on Sunday."

Here's how I want to write it:

Joey Porter can stick his guarantee up his ass.

You guys have 74-year old Trent Green as your quarterback. A guy who got dumped for Damon Huard. Don't tell me Daunte's not going to be fired up to face the team that dissed him. Just because he's quoting Gandhi doesn't mean he's going to show up in a diaper. Sure, he could have gone on a hunger strike to protest the Dolphins' mistreatment, but he didn't. He came to Oakland, and now he's going to kick some ass.

Here's my guarantee: the Raiders win, go 2-2, and after Denver gets its ass kicked by Indy, we're tied for first place in the AFC West going into the bye week.