The Raiders' Disgrace is International: Who shot JR?

Al Davis likes to talk about the Raiders' international fan base, often with good reason.

But this can't help. The Independent covered the game against the Cowboys on Thanksgiving and had this to say:

There is plenty for both sets of fans to give thanks for. For Cowboys' followers, that includes quarterback Tony Romo being back to his best following his summer break-up with reality star Jessica Simpson. The blonde bombshell was blamed for one of his worst performances two years ago, and many diehards considered her to have put a hex on the franchise's leading man. For perennial cellar-dwellers Oakland Raiders there is reason to be cheerful, because their quarterback JaMarcus Russell, the No 1 draft pick in 2007, has been benched after looking anything but. Who shot JR? Turns out his wounds were self-inflicted.

Ouch. So JaMarcus is now known on two continents as a bust, and his benching is compared to Tony Romo dumping Jessica Simpson. Yes, I get Jammy and Jessica are both famous for having a lot of money and struggling with their weight. But that's brutal. And I'm not sure we're exactly "cheerful" about it, either.

Then, there's this:

It's one-way traffic, and the Raiders even manage to look like the Keystone Kops when two defenders collide trying to intercept a drop by Roy Williams, who admits to me his play "is not living up to expectations".

Nice. Our "Keystone Kops" defense provides a segue to discuss the shit-ass season of Roy Williams. I can attest to this, since he's on one of my fantasy teams. Not since Chris Chambers Effed me in the A on the last game of the 2005 season has a fantasy football receiver disappointed me.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

Hater of the Week, Literary Allusion Edition: Tom Weir

This blog item started well enough, discussing Rickey Henderson's having his number retired by the A's. Then, Tom Weir goes on to muse about other franchises, like the Celtics and Yankees, that have retired so many numbers (because they have had so many great players) that they're running out of them. Then, we get this:

Mathematically speaking, the teams in the best shape are the Dallas Cowboys and the Oakland Raiders. Both have great traditions (Or at least the Raiders did, until Al Davis started imitating Captain Queeg), but neither has ever retired a number.

Captain Queeg? Are you kidding me? Sure, he's weird, and his men hated him, but he wasn't exactly a great Captain. The U.S.S. Caine was his first command, and he fucked it up. Al Davis, when he took over the Franchise, Dominated for parts of three decades. Loyal CLOAK readers (both of them!) will know that if Al can be compared to a figure in literature, it's to Simon Bolivar in Gabriel Garcia Marquez's novel, The General in His Labyrinth. Just read that description of the General and tell me that doesn't sound like Al, other than the premature aging.

Dan Bait

Bill Williamson argues that the Raiders should be more like Dallas and install the "wildcat" offense--called the Razorback by the Cowboys after Felix Jones' alma mater--and run it with their own Razorback, Darren McFadden. If I remember correctly, the Raiders did run it last year, with Greg Papa calling "the Wild Hog" formation. Every time, it made Dan say the F-word, because he really hates it. I may not remember totally correctly, though, because I drink a lot when I'm watching the games with Dan.

Just for fun, here's an old video of Green Day playing "One for the Razorbacks" off of Kerplunk!