Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Cable Press Conference Live Blog

1:16 P.M. Waiting for someone to wheel Al out to the microphone, so Solomon Wilcots, with a new goatee, is talking about what a "hard nosed" coach Cable is. "Solly" has some nice things to say about JaMarcus, and mentions how shitty our WRs are. We're waiting on Herrera, Cable, and Al.

I really, really hope that Herrera says something mean about Kawakami and/or Lowell Cohn. In a post from this morning, Jerry seemed to take a shot at Lowell for his "Howdy Doody" column:

As much as people want to lump Cable in with Joe Bugel as a well-meaning but overmatched line coach beholden to the boss, the comparison falls apart because of eight quarters of football in Weeks 16 and 17.

I happen to agree with Jerry on this one. The Bugel comparison seems a bit of a cheap shot.

1:22: Al is there, black leather jacket, smiling. Two Raiders helmets, but sadly no overhead projector. Cable is in a black suit, white shirt, pinkish tie. We'll take that as a sign of his indepence. Herrera intoduces Al to make a speech. He looks like a goddamn funeral director, which is appropriate.

1:25: Al opens with a shot at Lance. Nobody Hates like Al Davis. Even if he's a feeb now.

1:26: The Raiders are one of Three teams who have played in the Super Bowl since 2002 in the AFC. So that makes the Raiders one of the best three teams, out of 16 in the AFC.

1:27: Shut the Fuck up Donnie! Cable is in full on Walter Sobchak mode. "Listen Raider Nation, it's time to make you proud." I hear you, buddy.

1:29: "It's all about the team, blah blah." Cable's talking championships. He says that HE picked the staff, himself. Interesting.

1:30 Question and Answer time. Phil Barber gets first crack. Why did it take so long? Al breaks out the force chokes and Barber is now dead. Just kidding. Tom competed with....Al doesn't say. But it was one other guy. But Cable said he could deliver a staff, and Cable did. The other guy did could not deliver the staff. Also, Cable's dad passed away, so Al gave him a hiatus. And finally, Al didn't want to distract from the Super Bowl.

That's white of him.

Al is in full on lecture mode. Higgins and Schillens had five touchdowns in 4 games, Al's off the hook. Al says Cable hired every assistant coach. His hands are looking palsied.

1:34: Scott Ostler is confused. I kind of am, too. Al Davis is shocked that Ostler asked the question, which is, "How do you hire assistant coaches if you're not already the coach?" Al basically says Ostler's an idiot. "They were in competition for a long while."

1:38: Purdy: What makes you so confident this time compared to the last couple hires? Al thought Norv would be good, but he let Tim Brown go and Jerry Rice got into a fight with Rich Gannon. At least this time he gets "Bobby" and "Lane" right. I kinda miss "Lance" and "Bernard."

1:40: Are there only three reporters here?

1:41: Cable talks about checking out coaches at the Senior Bowl. They won't say who the other guy is. NFLN gets bored, so I switch it over to CSN. Al is no longer in HD, which is nice.

1:43: "This is my dream. This was my team growing up." Shit yes.

1:44: Vern Glen is alive.

1:45: Tom Cable is passionate. Al is right about that. "If you have that 'it,' if you will." He's talking about the passion and love for each other.

1:47: "The other fella." Al is not tricked by David White's question on the timeline. It's up to Tom whether or not Tom wants to call plays.

1:49: "I'm gonna call the plays." Atta boy.

1:51: The Oakland Raiders are Back. Tom is not afraid to say it. "There are three great teams in Sports: The New York Yankees, The Boston Celtics, and the Oakland Raiders."

1:53: Lowell Cohn! Al: "Brooklyn, New York." Lowell: "Brooklyn." Al: "Midwood High School." Love it when Al talks Brooklyn. Lowell reminds Tom and Al: We're reporters, not fans. I understand you're fired up, but do you think this team is any good?

Of course, Tom thinks they're that good.

1:56: Al is not saying who the local guy is to help with the football operations. Al goes back to his formula of Higgins and Schillens getting two touchdowns every two games.

1:58: Jason Jones has kind of a lisp.

2:02: Cable: I need Al's leadership, I need his wisdom, I need his musk. When this is over, me and him are gonna get an apartment together.

2:05: Al just blamed DeAngelo for the Denver loss. Can't really fault his logic; as Al says, when they tried to pick on his replacement, the Raiders won.

2:07: Corkran brings up Nmamdi and Lechler.

2:08: Ostler asks Al about the Stadium. Al says that there's no problem between the Raiders and the 49ers. Says all the problem between them were Carmen Policy's fault, for being a hater. Says he'd look at a joint stadium with the 49ers. Of course he would. He says Amy Trask is on it. But he needs to know the economics.

2:13: Al is breaking Ostler's balls again.

2:14: Jerry Mac! He wants to know about JaMarcus, is he staying in shape? Tom says yes, he's here now, working out, embracing his responsibilities. Al jumps in with an ominous comment about Jammy's "physical" problems.

2:15: Al thought the process of JaMarcus' development was "too slow."

And we're done.

I'm not sure what it is we just saw.