Monday, January 26, 2009

Hater of the Week, Super Bowl Addition: Charles P. Pierce

I thought of naming Jerry Mac and/or Adam Treu for bringing up the game that almost got me divorced, but instead I'm going to Slate.com this week for the Hater of the Week, perhaps the first time it's been given to someone who wasn't hating on the Raiders.

Ladies and Gentleman, I present Charles P. Pierce, and let his words speak for themselves:

This simple fact is that the very presence of the Arizona Cardinals in the
Super Bowl is at best a fluke and, at worst, a disgrace. They played in a landfill of a division. They won their two playoff games because Jake Delhomme of Carolina turned the ball over six times and because the Philadelphia Eagles all looked at the newspapers last Sunday and discovered they were in the NFC championship game again. The Cardinals are a glorified Arena Football League team with a soft defense and a running game unworthy of the name. They are in the position that they're in because the NFL rigs its season worse than any carny rigs his wheel. For all the macho posturing of its principal propagandists, between the jiggering of the schedule and the conniving of the draft and the socialistic revenue schemes, and the desperate grab for any mechanism that will flatten out the differences between really good teams and really bad ones, the NFL is the league that comes closest to the biddy soccer league philosophy of making sure that everyone gets a trophy.

That's what the Arizona Cardinals are: the National Participation
Ribbon.


He doesn't stop there. He has words for Thom Brenneman (which I appreciate; it's a scientific fact that 75% of men who spell their name "Thom" are douche bags, compared with 100% of men who spell their name "Geoff"), Tim Tebow, and Brett Favre.

Good Work, Chuck.

1 comment:

Jasmine said...

I 100% agree about the 100% Geoffs being douchebags. Hands down.