Raiders get weird again, the sequel

Late yesterday and this morning brought some columnists out regarding the latest Raider drama. That's about all the Raiders are good for, it seems--drama--because they certainly aren't a football team in the sense that their an organization that cares about winning games or developing a program. In fact, on Monday Night Countdown's weekly, "C'mon, Man!" segment, Tom Jackson was able to quip, "We should rename this segment 'The Raiders' because they show up every week," and then played the clip of Louis Murphy and Johnnie Lee Higgins running into each other, Keystone Cops-style.

So first up, Cam Inman talks to Lance Kiffin, who gives Tom Cable a nice character reference:

"Any head coach deserves a certain amount of time to get things going and install what he wants to install. Tom has not had enough time," Kiffin said by phone Monday from his office as the University of Tennessee's coach. "I would think he definitely should have another season after this, at least."

Really? Even after more assault allegations surfaced against Cable on Sunday, via ESPN's report pertaining to claims of two ex-wives and an ex-girlfriend?

"If any of that was accurate, that would surprise me," Kiffin added. "In my year-and-a-half with Tom, I never saw anything like that. I thought he was a first-class coach and a great person."

I'm sure Al will take this under advisement.

Next up is Tim Kawakami, who writes,

Now the team is 2-6 and there are the new serious charges. Al is known to be very protective of women. He wants his franchise to be first-class. He must be horrified by the association to violence against women.

I give him major credit for that.

So Al has a problem. He wants “cause” to fire Cable, so he has to wait, but he also is embarrassed that Cable’s behavior continues to shed bad light on a franchise that is not exactly permanently bathed in light, anyway.

Al has a lot of problems. A shitty football team is the biggest problem.

Scott Ostler gets in on the act, calling the Raiders a "Creepshow" that is hitting its all-time low, although every time I think that, they hit a new low. Anyway,

What's really bizarre in Monday's two news releases is the juxtaposition of warnings.

In one statement, the Raiders say they're evaluating the matter, and alert us that they have fired employees in the past for inappropriate conduct. In the other statement, they call into question the validity of ESPN's report.

So the Raiders might wind up firing their coach over charges they suggest might be nothing but phony-baloney smears in ESPN's attacks on the Raiders.

Creepy.

Finally, in this perusal of local columnist reactions, we get Lowell Cohn. His piece really should be read in its entirety, but here's a taste:

Several benefits would accrue from firing Cable ASAP. We wouldn’t have to see his sad face anymore or hear him swear the Raiders will be a great team in a week or so: “I have great faith in where we’re going and what we can do as a football team.”

That storyline is so over with. And we wouldn’t have to ask whom Cable slapped, or if he actually did slap anyone, or if he really punches people, or if he has a problem controlling his rage or if he has rage to begin with.

Anyway, have a nice day. Any minute now, Al may show up with his overhead projector and announce that Randy Hanson is the interim head coach. That would be awesome.

Cable Press Conference Live Blog

1:16 P.M. Waiting for someone to wheel Al out to the microphone, so Solomon Wilcots, with a new goatee, is talking about what a "hard nosed" coach Cable is. "Solly" has some nice things to say about JaMarcus, and mentions how shitty our WRs are. We're waiting on Herrera, Cable, and Al.

I really, really hope that Herrera says something mean about Kawakami and/or Lowell Cohn. In a post from this morning, Jerry seemed to take a shot at Lowell for his "Howdy Doody" column:

As much as people want to lump Cable in with Joe Bugel as a well-meaning but overmatched line coach beholden to the boss, the comparison falls apart because of eight quarters of football in Weeks 16 and 17.

I happen to agree with Jerry on this one. The Bugel comparison seems a bit of a cheap shot.

1:22: Al is there, black leather jacket, smiling. Two Raiders helmets, but sadly no overhead projector. Cable is in a black suit, white shirt, pinkish tie. We'll take that as a sign of his indepence. Herrera intoduces Al to make a speech. He looks like a goddamn funeral director, which is appropriate.

1:25: Al opens with a shot at Lance. Nobody Hates like Al Davis. Even if he's a feeb now.

1:26: The Raiders are one of Three teams who have played in the Super Bowl since 2002 in the AFC. So that makes the Raiders one of the best three teams, out of 16 in the AFC.

1:27: Shut the Fuck up Donnie! Cable is in full on Walter Sobchak mode. "Listen Raider Nation, it's time to make you proud." I hear you, buddy.

1:29: "It's all about the team, blah blah." Cable's talking championships. He says that HE picked the staff, himself. Interesting.

1:30 Question and Answer time. Phil Barber gets first crack. Why did it take so long? Al breaks out the force chokes and Barber is now dead. Just kidding. Tom competed with....Al doesn't say. But it was one other guy. But Cable said he could deliver a staff, and Cable did. The other guy did could not deliver the staff. Also, Cable's dad passed away, so Al gave him a hiatus. And finally, Al didn't want to distract from the Super Bowl.

That's white of him.

Al is in full on lecture mode. Higgins and Schillens had five touchdowns in 4 games, Al's off the hook. Al says Cable hired every assistant coach. His hands are looking palsied.

1:34: Scott Ostler is confused. I kind of am, too. Al Davis is shocked that Ostler asked the question, which is, "How do you hire assistant coaches if you're not already the coach?" Al basically says Ostler's an idiot. "They were in competition for a long while."

1:38: Purdy: What makes you so confident this time compared to the last couple hires? Al thought Norv would be good, but he let Tim Brown go and Jerry Rice got into a fight with Rich Gannon. At least this time he gets "Bobby" and "Lane" right. I kinda miss "Lance" and "Bernard."

1:40: Are there only three reporters here?

1:41: Cable talks about checking out coaches at the Senior Bowl. They won't say who the other guy is. NFLN gets bored, so I switch it over to CSN. Al is no longer in HD, which is nice.

1:43: "This is my dream. This was my team growing up." Shit yes.

1:44: Vern Glen is alive.

1:45: Tom Cable is passionate. Al is right about that. "If you have that 'it,' if you will." He's talking about the passion and love for each other.

1:47: "The other fella." Al is not tricked by David White's question on the timeline. It's up to Tom whether or not Tom wants to call plays.

1:49: "I'm gonna call the plays." Atta boy.

1:51: The Oakland Raiders are Back. Tom is not afraid to say it. "There are three great teams in Sports: The New York Yankees, The Boston Celtics, and the Oakland Raiders."

1:53: Lowell Cohn! Al: "Brooklyn, New York." Lowell: "Brooklyn." Al: "Midwood High School." Love it when Al talks Brooklyn. Lowell reminds Tom and Al: We're reporters, not fans. I understand you're fired up, but do you think this team is any good?

Of course, Tom thinks they're that good.

1:56: Al is not saying who the local guy is to help with the football operations. Al goes back to his formula of Higgins and Schillens getting two touchdowns every two games.

1:58: Jason Jones has kind of a lisp.

2:02: Cable: I need Al's leadership, I need his wisdom, I need his musk. When this is over, me and him are gonna get an apartment together.

2:05: Al just blamed DeAngelo for the Denver loss. Can't really fault his logic; as Al says, when they tried to pick on his replacement, the Raiders won.

2:07: Corkran brings up Nmamdi and Lechler.

2:08: Ostler asks Al about the Stadium. Al says that there's no problem between the Raiders and the 49ers. Says all the problem between them were Carmen Policy's fault, for being a hater. Says he'd look at a joint stadium with the 49ers. Of course he would. He says Amy Trask is on it. But he needs to know the economics.

2:13: Al is breaking Ostler's balls again.

2:14: Jerry Mac! He wants to know about JaMarcus, is he staying in shape? Tom says yes, he's here now, working out, embracing his responsibilities. Al jumps in with an ominous comment about Jammy's "physical" problems.

2:15: Al thought the process of JaMarcus' development was "too slow."

And we're done.

I'm not sure what it is we just saw.

Ostler: Lincecum and the Top 5 Most Loved and Hated Bay Area Sports Figures

First of all, I didn't know that Tim Lincecum was an emo kid. In that knit cap he looks like the dude from Fallout Boy who married Tony Romo's Girlfriend's sister.

Second, Ostler's reference to Fader Nation is a potentially HOTW-worthy, except that it's tough to get worked up about that right now.

Al Davis as most hated Bay Area Sports figure? It still seems to me like York would jump him, because he's both incompetent and boring. It's always better to interesting than boring, isn't it?

Finally, CLOAK-designated Man Crush of 2008 being compared to Barry Bonds works and it doesn't work. Yes, I understand the intentional walk analogy and the implication that Nmamdi is even more talented than Barry at his peak. But Barry Bonds is a fucking prick. Nmamdi is thoughtful, articulate, and as Joe Biden might say, clean, too. He does belong in the Top 5 most beloved Bay Area Athletes; granting Lincecum #1, Nmamdi's got to be #2. If you throw in his days at Cal, he's also the longest-tenured Bay Area Athlete on this list.

Whatever Al Davis does, he has to find to stop running the Raiders into the fucking ground, if only to make signing a long-term deal attractive to Nmamdi.

We flat out need him.

Okay, Then.

So Lance is still employed, and not commenting on any conversations he may or may not have or have had with Al Davis.

Meanwhile, Lowell Cohn laid out the case why Kiffin should be fired: because he's not a good coach. He's a dead man walking.

Gary Peterson goes with the soft bigotry of low expectations, says Kiffin deserves to keep his job and finish turning this around.

Ratto handicaps the situation. Ostler calls Al a "Drama Queen."

Meanwhile, the Rams have shit-canned Scott Linehan and hired Jim Haslett as their coach. So somewhere, somebody did something.